


What's Gained Through Loss

by onesillygoose



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - Fandom, DC Comics, DCU (Comics)
Genre: Acceptance, Alcoholism, Alternate Universe, Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Bottom Tim Drake, Bruce Wayne being an awesome father, Cop Dick Grayson, Depression, Domestic Fluff, Family Dynamics, Feelings, First Time, Frottage, Hand Jobs, Internalized Homophobia, Jaytim - Freeform, Loss of Virginity, M/M, Minor Character Death, No superheroes, Past Character Death, Sappy, Slow Burn, TimJay - Freeform, Top Jason Todd, Underage Drinking, Underage Sex, aged up character, brief use of homophobic language, inner turmoil, mentions of drug use, unprotected sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-11-24
Packaged: 2019-02-24 06:28:07
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 3
Words: 22,830
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13207923
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/onesillygoose/pseuds/onesillygoose
Summary: In an alternate universe where there are no superheroes, Jason Todd was just an orphan adopted by billionaire Bruce Wayne at age thirteen, and now lives at Wayne Manor along with his adoptive big brother, Dick Grayson. When Bruce's best friend, Jack Drake, and his wife pass away, Bruce takes in their orphaned fifteen- year- old son, Tim. It adds a dynamic to Jason's family that he was not prepared for. Tim is supposed to be his new brother, but instead Jason just sees him as a walking temptation.





	1. Grief and Depression

**Author's Note:**

> Hi y'all! So, AU stories really used to not be my thing, but suddenly I'm all about these, so I hope you guys will enjoy this one. 
> 
> I will probably post this story in three parts, although, I only have this one written for now. Just a forewarning, the sex probably won't come until the final chapter.
> 
> To those of you currently reading my other JayTim story, if you read my notes you'll know that I said I was going to be posting some other one- shots. This is actually not one of those, but I will still be putting those out at some time. This will not impact my other story, I promise, and I should have the next chapter of Terms and Conditions out by Monday.
> 
> So, anyway, I really hope you guys will like this. It's really different for me but I decided to just go for it. I wrote this in a few hours and then immediately posted it, so if you noticed anything funky, my bad. I will go back through it and edit at some point, so no worries there.
> 
> Here we go, enjoy guys! And thanks!

Jason is thirteen when some dumb, crazy, rich bastard picks him up off the street. He offers Jason a place to stay and some warm food. Jason agrees, pegging the guy as a pedophile and deciding that a quick BJ might be worth a full stomach. Except the guy isn’t a pedophile. He’s actually a really nice guy and very kind. Jason can’t quite figure out what the guy gets out of it, but it’s explained to him later. Explained to him by the other kid, Dick, that had been taken in years before, when he was a year younger than Jason was. Apparently, his savior had had a rough childhood. Didn’t have much of a family, and now he was creating his own. So, Bruce (as it turns out, the guy turns out to be Bruce Wayne, richest man in Gotham) only takes in orphans, like himself. Maybe because he was one for so long, maybe he has a soft spot for them. Or maybe because he sees something in the kids at the bottom of the food chain that nobody else does. Jason doesn’t know and he never asks, but he’s grateful.

So, he stays. Is legally adopted and lives with Bruce and his new brother and their butler. That’s right, their fucking butler, but Alfred is really cool and he's nice to Jason. His life is good, and Bruce is patient and kind. Even in the moments where Jason is on the brink of getting expelled from another school. And Dick is funny and a jerk and the big brother that Jason always wanted. He's living his childhood fantasy. The four of them all live in easy understanding of each other and their dynamic works for them. It's comfortable. Everything is smooth, simple. This is Jason’s life now and he’s happy.

And then somehow years have passed and Jason is turning twenty. He’s working part time at one of Bruce’s bars, because even though Bruce had objected to Jason working, he’d agreed as long as it was in one of his places of business. He’s finishing up at a local community college right now, but will be starting at university in the fall of next year at Gotham State, after he takes a year off to do some soul searching, and Bruce wasn’t happy about that either. But he got a full ride to Gotham State and that got Bruce off his back enough.

Dick moves to Bludhaven and becomes a cop, all shockingly- only, not really- to Bruce’s distaste. Jason misses Dick (even if he won’t say it.) Misses having midnight movie marathons with him, and late night gas station candy runs, but Dick still comes home every weekend, even though the guy is in his mid- twenties now. He and Jason remain just as close.

Then just like that it’s the spring, and something happens to Jason's family. That something, or more accurately, that some _one_ is the son of Bruce’s closest childhood friend, Jack Drake. Jack and his wife die in a plane crash in the Swiss Alps, and per Jack Drake’s will, Bruce Wayne is given full custody of the fifteen- year- old super genius.

Jason knows nothing about him. Only what he's read in newspapers and what Bruce and Alfred have told him. That he’s a child prodigy that’s been homeschooled his whole life, graduated high school only one year after Jason did, and will one day take over Drake Industries. Jason’s never even seen the kid in person before, as he is somewhat of a hermit and doesn’t like to publicly socialize. Not even at any of the stupid, shitty socialite parties that Dick and Jason get forced into going to that serve expensive, fancy champagne.

He can’t really imagine what the kid is feeling when Bruce tells him the news that Tim will be coming to live with them. Jason never really had a family before Bruce. His dad had been in jail since before he was born and his mom overdosed when he was eleven. The only family Jason had was the group of kids he stole alongside and Rosa, the nice prostitute who lived in the apartments Jason used to sleep behind that would let him sleep in her place on the nights it got too cold. So, he can’t begin to fathom what it must be like for a kid to lose his whole family. And maybe this is why Bruce’s family is so special. Because he brought together people who had nothing and gave them the one thing they needed. He gave them family.

Still, he doesn’t know what to say to a kid who’s newly an orphan. Doesn’t know what to say to a super genius, even if Jason himself had a grade point average far above any of his classmates. Doesn’t know what to say to a boy who has hardly even been photographed by the media in the past few years. Jason wouldn’t be able to pick out the kid in a room of strangers.

It’s a Saturday, when Tim moves in. Jason is heading down to the kitchen to make another cup of tea and grab a snack when the front door opens. Alfred stumbles in out of the rain with several suitcases, holding the door open for a small, timid boy who walks in behind him carrying two more suitcases.

He’s not just small, the boy is downright  _tiny_. Thin, no more than a hundred and twenty pounds soaking wet with clothes on, and he looks even smaller in the oversized sweater he’s wearing. His eyes are big, terrified looking and the most pure- blue that Jason has ever seen. His hair is jet black and looks inky the way it falls around his face, damp from the rain. His nose is red from the chill in the air and his skin is a fair, creamy ivory. And the way he moves has Jason’s eyes following the grace of his every step. If Jason had to guess, he would say either gymnast or dancer. He’s so fucking beautiful it makes Jason’s heart ache with it. Or maybe that’s just the newfound need to wrap the kid up in his arms and protect him.

Jason might just have a bit of an attraction to his new "brother".

He doesn’t even notice when Bruce walks in the house, or when he sets down a few more smaller bags that probably also belong to Tim. Doesn’t notice Bruce is even standing next to him until the larger man claps him on the shoulder. He jumps, letting out a sound of surprise that has Bruce smiling at him, rather amused.

“Jason, this is Tim, the newest member of our family.” The kid looks crushed and horrified when Bruce says it, and Jason doesn’t know if Bruce notices or not, but he continues nonetheless. “Tim, this is my son Jason. My eldest will be joining us for dinner this evening, but I think you’ve already met Dick before.”

Tim nods, but he isn’t making eye contact. He’s not even really looking at anything at all, gaze flickering back and forth, directed at the floorboards.

And just when the hell would Dick have met Tim? And why didn't the asshole tell him about it? Jason will have to ask him about that later.

“I realize it’s been a while since you’ve been here, Tim, so feel free to look around and get yourself fully acquainted with the house. Jason can answer any questions you might have. His room is right across from yours.” Bruce gives his shoulder a squeeze at that. “But in the meantime, let’s let Alfred show you to your room. Would you like us to get you anything?”

Tim looks like he mouths the word “no”, but Jason can’t hear it. Wonders if even Alfred can, who's still standing just inches from Tim. Jason, however, is still standing several feet away and is busy staring at the petite boy and wondering when he was here last. It had to have been long before Jason had started living here.

“Alright. Well, I’ll have Alfred come fetch you when it’s time for dinner. You just get settled in your room.”

Tim’s eyes linger on Jason even as Alfred starts walking away with his bags. Both are surprised when their eyes first meet, but still neither looks away. Jason can’t quite identify the look he’s giving him. Somewhere between curious and terrified. He doesn’t think the kid realizes he’s still staring, and is proved correct when Alfred calls out to him and a blush paints the kid’s delicate cheekbones.

“Your brother should be here soon for dinner.” Bruce says to him once Tim is up the stairs and out of sight. Jason jumps again, eyes staring after the smaller boy. “Jason, I really need you to help Tim with this transition. I’m sure you remember how strange and scary this was. He’ll need a friend, his new brother, to help him through this. Dick will be helping, as well. He offered to move back in a for a few weeks so Tim can get to know all of us. Hopefully that will help to put him at ease some. But you’re closer to Tim’s age. I need you to step up and be there for him. Can you please do that for me?”

Jason nods, considers his next words carefully. He thinks about telling Bruce about the way he couldn’t keep his eyes off the kid’s hands. Or about the way he just had three different fantasies about Tim shirtless during their brief first exchange. Instead, he settles on words he uses rarely, but never fail to make Bruce happy.

“Yeah, sure. No problem, Dad.” And just as Jason thought, the words have Bruce beaming. It’s a much better alternative to the look he was likely to get if he’d told Bruce anything close to what he’d really been thinking.

Bruce squeezes his shoulder once more and wanders away. If Jason didn’t know any better, he would say Bruce had had unshed tears in his usually stern, cobalt eyes.

Jason goofs off on his laptop in the kitchen until Dick arrives. The eldest Wayne child sneaks up behind him, scaring Jason so bad he considers smacking Dick in the head for it, but instead he gets wrapped up in Dick’s embrace and hugs him back equally as hard.

When Dick pulls away he ruffles Jason’s hair, getting his forehead flicked in return. It’s become somewhat of a ritual for them when Dick comes home.

“So, you heard all about it then?” Jason asks as he runs fingers through his hair.

Dick nods, looking somber.

“Yeah. Can you imagine, Jay? Poor kid.”

“Uh, yeah, I can. Seeing as how I’ve been through it. And so have you! What? Because he’s rich that suddenly makes it more tragic than what you or I went through?”

Suddenly Jason is so angry with Tim Drake and his presence here.

_Fuck this kid. Spoiled brat. He just went from one wealthy home to the next. Poor rich boy? Yeah right. It should make no difference to him. He’s still rich, if not richer, than he was before. Not like Jason, who went from literally nothing to having the world laid at his feet on a silver, diamond encrusted platter. And fuck him for making me still pity him, regardless._

Dick gives him his best stern big brother look.

“Don't be an asshole. You know that’s not what I meant, Jason. And you really need to cut the kid some slack considering what he's going through. All I’m saying is that I remember how hard it was for me and I was younger than Tim. I couldn’t process it until years later. But Tim? He’ll _never_ forget the feeling of finding out the news that he won't ever see his parents again. Never.”

Jason remembers when Dick first told him about how his parents had bit the big one. John and Mary Grayson were your typical middle- class couple. Happily married for a long time, with one child, Dick. It had been a normal night for his family, and they were driving home from dinner, Dick in the backseat, when they were hit head on by a drunk driver. Dick had survived somehow, but was not unharmed.

Bruce had been driving by and saw the whole thing. He’d pulled Dick from the wreckage and called 911. Even rode with Dick to the hospital. Bruce had stayed there with him for days until Dick had finally woken up. Dick, having no other family, was alone in the world. And that’s when Bruce stepped up. He paid for Dick’s medical bills. Paid for his physical therapy. Paid for him to go to doctors and psychiatrists while Dick was in a group home so that he could recover from what happened. After six months, Bruce applied to the state to adopt Dick. And at only twenty- six, Bruce had become a father.

But none of their stories were quite as horrendous as Bruce’s. Nobody talks about it often, even though Bruce speaks happily of his parents and his childhood frequently. If it were Jason in Bruce’s shoes, though, he knows for a fact he wouldn’t have turned out to be such a nice guy. Jason wasn’t even close to his parents and he acted out violently for years after his mom’s death. But Bruce? He was the complete opposite. He watched his parents get gunned down at eight- years- old, right in front of him, and he became the nicest, most charitable man Jason has ever met. He started out volunteering at the age of ten, and now at the age of forty, and the CEO of one of the world’s largest companies, Bruce donates millions every year to numerous charities globally.

And Tim? Well, if the kid hasn't been photographed out in public, not even once in the past five years, then he's got to be pretty goddamn lonely if he was cooped up in his house all the time. "Poor kid" is right.

“I guess you’re right.” Jason agrees with Dick.

Dick ruffles his hair again and moves Jason’s laptop aside so he can take out some things for dinner.

“Come on. Let’s help Alfred with dinner. You peel the potatoes and I’ll make the salad.”

Dinner is quiet, even with Bruce trying to start light conversation here and there. He asks Tim where he’d like to go to college. Asks if he’d like to take his college entrance exams in a high school, "maybe Gotham High?" or if he’d prefer to continue studying privately. Asks him what some of his favorite meals are. He never gets a single answer out of the kid.

Throughout the meal, Tim's eyes never leave his plate. He doesn't look at Dick or Bruce, or even glance up each time Alfred enters the dining room bringing another course. Jason tries to keep his own eyes from straying, and succeeds for the most part. But if he didn't know any better, he would say he could feel Tim's stealthy gaze on him from under long, thick lashes from across the table.

When the salad and soup have been served and eaten (after several long minutes of waiting for Tim to hopefully take a bite of something,) Alfred serves the main course, even though Tim hasn’t touched a thing. Tonight he served Jason's favorite: pot roast.

Not even ten minutes later, the small boy finally speaks up.

“I’m so sorry. I hope I don't seem rude, but I’m just not very hungry. May I please be excused?” Tim still won't look at them, and his voice is so small and weak, almost like he hasn’t used it in some time. Jason wracks his memory.

_Tim's parents died two weeks ago. He hasn't spoken in two weeks?_

Bruce nods at Tim, a sad smile on his face.

“Poor kid.” Dick chirps up when Tim is definitely out of earshot.

“Hey, Dick, Bruce said you’d met Tim before. When was that exactly?” Jason studies him closely, anxious for an answer.

Dick’s eyes drift, like he’s remembering a half- forgotten memory, and then he smiles fondly.

“Wow, I’d forgotten all about that. Damn. That would’ve been about ten years ago. Jack brought Tim over for a playdate, even though I was already fifteen. Tim spent hours just trailing along after me. I finally got him to stop when I took him to the game room and let him loose. I think I played air hockey with him for forty- five minutes straight. I let him win every time and he was so happy.”

Everyone is smiling listening to Dick’s happy memory, and then the secondhand joy fades, and they’re left with the dark reminder of why Tim is here.

Later, when Jason is upstairs in his room, he hears the soft creak of a door while he’s re- stringing his guitar. He sets it back down on its stand and goes to open his bedroom door. He finds Tim in the hallway, frozen and staring at him with saucer sized eyes, like a deer caught in the headlights. Jason gives him a soft smile, mutters a shy “hi”, but then Tim whirls around and hides back in his room with a slam of the door.

Jason has no idea what just happened and lingers in his doorway for several minutes, staring at Tim's door while he tries to figure out if he imagined that or not. When he finally snaps himself out of it, he heads to the kitchen and finds Alfred cleaning up for the night.

“Master Jason.” The Brit says in surprise.

“Alfred, I really wish that after all this time you would just call me Jason and stop with the ‘master’ bullshit.”

“And I really wish that after all this time that _you_ would cease with your vulgar profanity, _Master_ Jason, but we don’t always get what we wish for,” the man teases. “How may I help you, sir?”

Jason can feel his face go pink and runs a hand nervously through his hair before rubbing the back of his neck. He’s pretty sure he picked up this particular nervous tic from Dick.

“Um, actually, I was just grabbing a snack for Tim.”

Alfred mostly succeeds at hiding a smile at that.

“Well, then, don’t let me impede you, young sir.”

Jason waits until Alfred is gone before he starts making Tim a sandwich. He also grabs a box of cookies, an apple and a bag of chips, along with a glass of Alfred’s amazing lemonade, putting it all on a tray and carrying it upstairs. He sets the tray down in front of Tim’s door and knocks once, not waiting for an answer as he heads down the hall to Dick’s room.

He doesn’t bother knocking. Dick has never locked his doors, not since right after Jason officially moved in and he decided Jason could be trusted to not steal any of his things. He finds Dick sitting at his desk, reading something on the internet. He shuts the door, flops down on Dick’s bed, rifling through a book Dick had laying there before tossing it aside and sprawling out on his back.

“That was a _library_ book, little brother.” Dick grits out between clenched teeth, annoyed in the way big brothers always are with little brothers.

“Hey, I was just trying to help. You do too much reading with that tiny brain of yours and it’s bound to explode, Dickiebird.” Jason teases, using the nickname Bruce had given him years ago when he said Dick was like a bird; hopping around and never landing anywhere for long.

Dick spins around in his chair.

“Why are you such a brat, Jason?”

“Why are you such a dumbass, Richard?”

Dick picks up another book that was sitting next to him and hurls it at Jason’s head, narrowly missing. Jason, ever the child, tilts his head back so Dick can see and sticks out his tongue. It makes Dick laugh, though, and he spins back around in his chair, going back to whatever he was doing on his computer when Jason entered.

“Maybe one of these days you’ll grow up, Jay,” Dick says to his screen, still chuckling.

“I'm still taller than you, Dickie.”

It’s quiet for a moment between them, but certainly not uncomfortable. They’ve been around each other far too many years for that.

“Movie night tonight?” Jason asks after several minutes.

“Sure,” Dick says without looking at Jason. “Action or comedy?”

“Horror, bitch.” Is Jason’s response, which doesn’t actually earn him one from Dick.

He thinks about knocking on Tim’s door again, but this time waiting for him to answer. Thinks about inviting Tim to movie night, because a horror movie in Bruce’s home theater is magical. He thinks about picking the scariest movie out right now and having Tim cling to him under a blanket while someone’s guts get torn open on the big screen. He stops his daydream at the point of him walking Tim to his bedroom and Tim asking him to come inside because he’s scared to sleep alone.

Jason shakes his head to snap himself out of it.

Several more minutes of silence pass between them until Jason sighs deeply, a question he’s burning to ask right on the tip of his tongue, but he just can’t bring himself to ask quite yet.

“Hey, Dick?” Jason starts, still staring up at Dick’s plain white ceiling, identical to every other ceiling in the house.

“Hm?” Dick responds.

“What are you reading?”

“An article about a case I’m working on. Missing chemical waste from a factory in ‘Haven.”

“You’re pretty smart. How come you never wanted to be a lawyer or something? Why a cop?”

“Don’t know,” Dick is still staring intently at the computer screen. “Probably something to do with Bruce. He raised us to always want to help people in need as much as we can. Pretty sure being a cop is, like, the epitome of that.”

Jason shrugs. That hasn’t always been true in his experience. At least, not with the cops he grew up with in his part of Gotham. The ones that bought drugs and girls just as frequently as all the other sickening johns. But Dick is nothing like them. Dick would jump in front of a train to save a puppy. The guy is practically a superhero.

“Dick?”

“Hm?” Dick says again.

“You were a gymnast once. You think Tim might be? He kinda looks it.”

“I have no idea, man. It’s kinda hard to tell just by lookin’ at someone.”

“Not if you're lookin' at the right things,” Jason mutters under his breath. “Hey, Dick?”

“What?” There’s aggravation creeping into Dick’s voice now.

“Am I bugging you?” Jason asks with a smirk.

“Yes!”

Jason laughs, lets the silence settle over them once again for a little bit. The question he stopped himself from asking earlier still burning in the back of his mind. He knows he shouldn’t ask, but he so desperately wants Dick’s opinion. They’re close. Have been close for years, like real brothers. He can trust Dick and knows the older boy has his back, just as he has Dick's. And he _really_ needs some advice. Dick can keep a secret. Mostly.

“Hey, Dick?” Jason asks one last time, sitting up on Dick’s bed.

 “What?!” Dick doesn’t quite shout, closing his computer and turning around to face Jason, knowing it’s not likely that he’ll get any more work done tonight.

“Have you ever, I mean," Jason isn't even sure how to begin asking his question "being a cop and all, have you ever wanted to do something you especially couldn’t?”

The irritated look immediately falls from Dick’s face, his eyes zeroing in and only focusing on Jason. He looks concerned, maybe a touch fearful as he cocks his head in curiosity.

“What do you mean, Jason?”

Jason swallows, thinks of the fifteen- year old _illegal_ boy just a few doors down, doing Jason can only imagine what in the privacy of his own room.

“I mean, shit, I don’t know. Have you…” Jason starts and pauses, running his hand through his hair several times in a tic that is most decidedly Bruce. He has to do this carefully, can’t give anything away. Dick is his brother, but he’s also a cop, and the only person Jason knows that might have a bigger conscience than Bruce. “Have you ever wanted something, or wanted to do something _really fucking bad_ , but you know you should never do because you were a cop?”

Hopefully his question was clear enough without being too specific that Dick won’t ask for further detail. Or potentially, why Jason would even ask in the first place.

“You mean, like, trying an illegal substance? Which, little brother, I know you do on occasion.” Dick wags a finger at him but there’s a playful smirk on his face.

Jason shrugs again. “A little weed once in a blue moon never killed anyone. But yes, kind of like that.” Jason grabs at his opportunity and holds on for dear life. “Have you ever wanted to do drugs even though you know you could get in a ton of trouble? Or use your badge to steal things and tell people it’s for evidence?”

It’s Dick’s turn to shrug.

“I mean, drugs have never really interested me. I’ve seen first- hand what they do to people.” He gives Jason a sad, half- smile and Jason considers flipping him off; an involuntary reflex. Instead, he swallows and sits patiently, waiting for Dick to finish, knowing his older brother wasn't saying it to hurt him. “But yeah, I guess there have been times where I thought about using my power to get something I wanted. When I started looking for Babs’ engagement ring last year, I thought about doing just that after seeing the price tag on some of those things.”

Babs is one of Jason’s favorite people in the whole world. A take- no- shit computer whiz who took Jason under her wing just the same as Dick had. And it was always fun to watch her out- whit Dick.

“But sometimes there are other smaller things. Sometimes I kind of wish I had the option to get into a fight with someone. Just because. Or have a single beer, even if I know I have to drive home. You just have to weigh the pros and cons, you know? It's like with anything. Is doing something you know is bad going to be worth the trouble if you get caught?”

It’s good advice. Solid advice. Exactly what Jason was looking for, if not exactly what he was actually hoping to hear.

He mulls everything Dick says over, thinking about his next words very carefully before speaking again.

“I hear you. But, okay, what about if the thing you wanted to do _wasn’t_ going to hurt anybody? What if there was no damage or no profit lost? What if you didn’t want to do anything bad to anybody, but actually something good?”

Jason is looking at Dick, but his eyes are no longer seeing him. Instead somewhere far away where he can picture Tim’s sweet face, so hurt and in so much pain from the loss he’s suffered. He thinks about how he could make Tim smile. And a few, less wholesome ways he could maybe make the both of them smile.

“What do you mean? Where is this coming from, Jay?”

With a shake of his head, Jason enters reality again, realizing that he may have given Dick too much information after all.

“I don’t know. Never mind, forget I asked.”

“Well, if you’re asking, hypothetically of course, if you should do something illegal, then my answer is obviously no. Now, I know you, so I know you would never intentionally do something malicious. So, as your brother, I say as long as it’s not a felony and you won’t get yourself caught, then go for it. _IF,”_ Dick stresses the world, “and only if it’s for a good cause. Why, Jaybird? Did you have something in mind? Gonna steal the Hope Diamond to feed the needy?”

“Shit! You’re onto me!” Jason jokes, dramatically rolling off the bed and running to the door. “And actually, I was going to hack Bruce’s bank account to feed the needy. It’s probably worth more than that rock, anyway.”

Dick throws his head back and laughs, full and bright, the sound echoing off his bedroom walls. Jason smiles, opening Dick’s door and waiting for him to catch his breath.

“So, movie in ten?”

Dick nods, “be right down. And get the popcorn and drinks. I’ll bring the candy and the alcohol.”

Jason mock gasps.

“Officer Grayson, supplying alcohol to someone under the age of twenty- one? What would your captain think?”

Dick shrugs, a carefree smile on his face

“Who cares? I’m not on duty.”

It’s Jason’s turn to laugh, loudly, real happiness and ease in the sound as he closes Dick’s bedroom door.

On his way back down the hall, he passes Tim’s room again. The tray is conspicuously missing from where Jason set it in front of his door. He pauses, just for a moment, a smile on his face as he raises his hand and prepares to knock on Tim’s door. But he doesn’t, instead letting his hand fall and pressing his ear up to the wood. He can faintly hear the sound of running water and knows Tim is in the shower, probably left the bathroom door wide open.

He considers walking in. Just turning the knob and making his way into the bathroom, getting a full view of Tim, bare and wet, surrounded by steam. Skin flushed pink and malleable to Jason’s mouth if he wanted to press his lips to Tim’s elegant, slender neck. Or down his slight, small torso.

And right when he has that thought is when he knows he needs to walk away and listen to Dick’s advice. Not the latter portion of it, but the good portion of it. The smart portion. The _cop_ portion. The portion that will keep Jason out of prison. Because living under Bruce’s roof, there’s no way he won’t find out. And Bruce loves him, he knows that, but does Bruce love him enough to not press charges if he finds out his adult ward is having sex with his minor ward? Is it worth jail time?

While he and Tim are only five years apart, it’s still illegal. A fucking _felony_ , in fact. Because Jason is a grown ass, twenty- year- old man and should know better than to be perving on illegal, fifteen- year- old boys. He knows this, but it’s too late. He’s already in too deep for the pretty, quiet boy just down the hall. He's a monster.

He’s safe for now, though. As long as he doesn’t touch Tim, he’ll be fine. So, he makes himself a promise not to. As much as he wants Tim, he can’t go to jail because his dick wants a taste. He won’t touch Tim. Not now, not ever. Because people don’t fucking fall for their adoptive brothers.

Fisting his hands, Jason turns away and practically goes sprinting toward the home theater. But first, he slips on his boots, making his jeans bunch up around his ankles. He grabs his leather jacket from the coat rack and throws it on over his solid black t- shirt. He steps out onto the porch and lights a cigarette, hoping Dick won’t lecture him about it later and then tell Bruce like he did when Jason was sixteen and Dick first found out Jason started smoking.

He lets the toxic smoke fill his lungs and calm him down. He smokes two cigarettes before he’s calm enough to head back inside and start prepping his and Dick’s snacks. Dick doesn’t say anything about the smell of smoke when he sits in a chair next to Jason, passing him the bottle of whiskey. Jason takes a long pull, knowing he’s going to need it to get through the rest of this night.


	2. Anger and Bargaining

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason can't adapt to Tim's disruptive presence in his home. So, in Jason fashion, he deflects and puts up a wall. Until he can't.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi everyone! I'm back with chapter two. I hope you all enjoy this one as much as you seem to like the first. I cannot even say how much fun I've had writing this story! It might be my new favorite piece of mine. Not even because I think it's that good, but because the whole process has been so enjoyable for me and has been nearly stress- free. I can't ask for anything more than that.
> 
> I wanted to talk briefly about the couple of comments I've gotten about how people enjoy this story because of the family aspect to it. Well, I started writing this story because it was going to be about Jason getting off on fucking around with his new brother, (especially behind Bruce's back, and no, I'm not sorry about that kink) but then this ended up being more of a piece about another fantasy of mine. The one thing I truly love more than anything in Batman comics is the brief moments when these four act like a real family. When walls are down and Bruce gets to be a father and the boys get to feel like their life is just a little bit normal for just a moment. So that's what this story became. A story about family. What I want to see more than anything during times when their world goes to shit. That's what this is. My wish for the Batfamily. With some in your face subtext and feelings and porn. 
> 
> So, after that long winded explanation, I hope you guys will enjoy chapter 2! Also, like this chapter, I have no idea when the final chapter will be out. It will be the longest, it will be full of all sorts of goodness, and it will probably be after I finish Terms and Conditions, but keep an eye out!
> 
> And one last thing, thank you so much to everyone who has read this story!

Tim spends most of his first month at the Manor locked away in his room. He’s like a shadow that Jason only catches glimpses of here and there. It bothers Jason. Makes him feel like his whole family has to walk on eggshells just to appease a stranger, when he’s the one acting like a dick in the first place.

He’s also somewhat grateful, as it helps in his determination to stay as far away from the boy as possible.

He does what he can, where he can, though. Picks up more shifts at the bar and hangs around downtown Gotham more often. Stays after class at school and studies, even though it’s entirely unnecessary because he’s never studied for anything in his life. Basically, he does anything he can to avoid going home. It doesn’t go unnoticed.

“Jason, I had just hoped that you would be willing to spend more time at home right now. Tim really needs this time to acclimate and get used to our presence. I know he’s shy, but he’ll come around. So, I need you here more so he doesn’t feel like you’re avoiding him. And besides, I miss spending time with my son.” Bruce says to him one evening before he heads out for his shift at the bar.

Bruce’s honesty always surprises Jason. Even after seven years, it’s hard for him to believe that he is now surrounded by people in his life that care about him and want him around. People who are straightforward and don’t just tell him what he wants to hear in order to get something from him.

So, maybe Bruce’s words are a bit of a cheap shot, they still work just the same.

“Alright, Bruce. I’ll tell Oliver tonight that I have to cut back my shifts again at the club. Happy now, Dad?” Jason says with a smile, and Bruce’s returning one is as bright as it always is.

“Thrilled, Jaybird.”

Jason gives his shoulder a playful push.

When Dick’s leave of absence is up, and the day comes when he has to go home to Bludhaven, he hears Tim and Dick talking in the hallway on his way to his room. He hides around the corner, not wanting to have to come face to face with the kid, even if this is the first time he’s heard Tim’s voice in almost two weeks.

“Can’t you just call in sick for a few days?” Tim’s meek voice asks in what is practically a whisper.

“I’m so sorry, Tim, but I can’t. It doesn’t really work that way, kiddo. And I’m working on a really important case right now that I have to get back and wrap up.” Dick says in his cop voice, calming and reasonable.

“But Bruce is always so busy. And your brother… he always looks like he’s two seconds from hitting me. He hates me.”

The kid can’t even be bothered to say Jason’s name? Not like he’s living just across the goddamn hallway from him or anything.

“He doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t know you. And he’s your brother now, too, Tim. Give him a chance and I swear you’ll love him. Jason’s great.”

It’s quiet for a long time. So long that Jason can’t stand to stay still any longer when he has so much rage bubbling through his veins. He takes the last step around the corner and comes face to face with Tim and Dick. They both look surprised to see him, Tim especially so. His cheeks are flushed and his eyes are huge. He’s mortified. Too bad he still looks cute as hell.

“Oh, hey. Don’t mind me. You’re just standing in front of my fucking door.” Jason spits at them.

“Jason,” Dick starts, trying to placate Jason while simultaneously warning him about his attitude.

“Better stay away, Dick. You never know when I might hit you!” Jason shouts and slams his door. He can hear Tim’s squeak even through the solid wood.

_Who the hell does that brat think he is? Fuck him. Fuck him for ruining my family and fuck him for making me ever want him in the first place._

Bruce is in his room later, lounging on his bed reading when Jason barges in.

“I can’t stand him, Bruce! I _really_ can’t! He’s such an entitled little shit!”

“Language.” Bruce chides sternly.

“I _know_ Dick and I were never like that. What is this kid’s problem? And to say that he thought I was gonna _hit him_? Like I’d waste a punch on that little runt.”

He’s still pacing in front of Bruce’s bed when he hears the telltale sigh, meaning that Bruce is about to give him a lecture.

“Jason, he’s afraid. He doesn’t know us and it will take time before he’s comfortable with all of us. He’s still recovering from the death of his family. Give him some time before he’s ready to make a new one. He will come around. Just let him come to you. And when he does, you two will get along great.”

Jason takes a breath, gets ready to go on his own tangent about how wrong Bruce is when he realizes that he’s actually probably right and there isn’t really any sort of argument here. Sure, part of him calls bullshit. When his parents had died, he coped with it by stealing, joining a gang of teenagers and causing minor mayhem in Gotham’s narrows. He’s coping now, with Tim in the house and testing Jason’s will every second of every day. He drinks a little more often, gets stoned a little more often. Chain smokes until his lungs hurt. He’s barely able to keep control of himself some days.

But these things are his choice. Tim didn’t choose to lose his family. Didn’t choose to be alone and in pain. Jason can be mad at him all he wants, but Tim isn’t to blame. He can’t change what’s happening to them. Can’t change the position they’ve all found themselves. So, Jason knows it really isn’t fair of him to hold anything against Tim. He’ll just have to wait for Tim to come around.

He feels even worse about his rant to Bruce once he’s walking back to his room and can hear Tim’s sobs through his bedroom door. The tears almost seem to be a nightly routine for Tim now.

The next day is rough. The house feels cold and suffocating. Like Tim’s sadness has started to bleed through the walls, permeating everything and everyone within the walls of The Manor. Everyone seems to be in a somber mood. Jason even overhears Bruce talking to Alfred about his grief in the privacy of his study. He really shouldn’t, but he can’t help but eavesdrop.

“I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, Alfred. I feel terrible. The child clearly wants nothing to do with any of us. I don’t understand it. Jason and Dick had no problem adapting here. Why isn’t Tim? What do I need to do?”

Jason watches Alfred pat Bruce’s shoulder.

“You’re doing nothing wrong, Sir. No two people on Earth are the same, Master Bruce. Not even children. You managed to learn to navigate this twice before and I am positive you will succeed in doing so again. Master Timothy is grieving and learning to cope in his own way. He needs his space right now. Soon things will be better for him, but we mustn’t rush him.”

That night at dinner, when Bruce is looking particularly dejected by another refusal of his dinner invitation by Tim, Jason gets an idea.

“Hey, Dad,” Jason starts, because nothing cheers Bruce up quite like that, “how about a family game night? It’s been a while since we’ve gotten to do one. I’ll call Dick, tell him to come over. We’ll invite Barbara, too! It’ll be a big thing. We can do it Saturday. I’ll make cookies-“

“You most certainly will not. Not in my kitchen,” Alfred interrupts when he comes to refill Bruce’s water glass.

“Okay, Alfred will make cookies, we’ll have popcorn. It’ll be great.”

Jason can’t help but think what his thirteen- year- old self would say if he could see him now. Probably make fun of him endlessly for being such a domestic geek. He’d probably spit in Jason’s face for taking up house with some rich person. The kind that used to pass Jason on the street and hardly spare him a second glance when he was begging for a few bucks, just enough to buy himself a sandwich. But Bruce is nothing like those men. He’s been good to Jason and has taken care of him. Jason owes his life to Bruce, because who knows where he’d be if the guy hadn’t taken him in. Probably in jail or worse. So, the least he can do is play Stepford son and try to cheer Bruce up.

And that’s exactly what he does. Jason hasn’t seen Bruce smile that big in weeks.

“That’d be great, Jason. We’ll invite Tim.”

Jason’s own smile falls at that. The whole point of his plan was to make them forget about the kid voluntarily hiding away from them upstairs. Jason opens his mouth to say as much when Alfred walks back in to refill Jason’s water glass, coughing loudly in an obvious signal to Jason that it’s time to shut up.

“Yeah. Okay. I’ll invite him.”

“With tact, please.” Bruce implores. “Remember, he’s a part of this family now, too.”

The next morning, in the brightness of the sunlight, Jason knocks on Tim’s bedroom door. He tries to keep his frustration out of it.

Tim answers after a few annoyingly long minutes. He stares up at Jason with same blush and terrified look that he has since he got here.

“Hey, um,” Jason falters as he takes in the sight of Tim’s room. It’s the first time he’s seen inside since Tim’s moved in and decorated the space as his own.

There’s books everywhere, miniature statues of life sized pieces of art, a computer sits open on the bed. There’s maps hung all over the walls of all sorts of different countries and one of the Irish country side that Jason had seen in person three years ago during their family vacation.

When Tim realizes Jason’s looking he closes his door just the slightest bit more, obscuring it from Jason’s view. He flushes again and looks like he’s about ten seconds from slamming the door in Jason’s face.

“Sorry,” Jason says nervously, scratching the back of his neck as a flush of his own finds its way to his cheeks. “Anyway, promise I’m not here to hit you or anything. Just wanted to invite you to family game night on Saturday. You don’t have to come, but it’s usually pretty fun. Barbara, er, Dick’s fiancée will be there. And Alfred’s making some amazing homemade cookies and some other shit. Is there any particular snack you’d like?”

Tim nods but doesn’t say a thing.

“Right. Okay then. Good talk.” Jason is turning on his heel to leave and pauses, can still feel Tim watching him from his bedroom doorway. “Also, just… you know, if you like books, you should check out the library attached to Bruce’s study. He never minds it when we borrow his books. He’s got thousands. And maybe you should try to make it out to the garden sometime. There’s some pretty cool statues out there that Bruce buys from local artists. In case you’re interested.”

Tim gives him a strange look. Not quite the shocked look he’s been getting lately, and there’s no blush on his cheeks this time. He can’t describe it. Doesn’t even know Tim well enough to begin to guess what the look is for or what Tim’s thinking. But Jason can’t help but flush again under that true- blue gaze. He coughs awkwardly before turning away again and heading back downstairs to watch television in the den.

He catches Tim in the library later that night, may or may not secretly leave a mug of hot cocoa on Bruce’s desk for Tim.

When he walks into the kitchen the next morning for breakfast, he nearly runs smack into Tim, who is on his way out. This time he receives that same horrified look again, the one that Tim seems to have reserved specifically for him. He ignores it to the best of his abilities before walking past him and sitting at the breakfast bar, making himself a plate of some amazing looking French toast.

“This is great, Al. Your best French toast ever, I think.”

Alfred smiles conspiratorially as he wipes up some powdered sugar next to Jason.

“Thank you, Master Jason, but I am not the one responsible for this meal. You’ll have to thank Master Timothy. He was in the kitchen even before I was this morning. Spoke a whole three sentences to me. One of which was a question about your favorite meal to have for breakfast. I offered my assistance, but he rejected it. He was the sole creator of this breakfast. I simply squeezed the juice.”

Jason eyes the bite of cinnamon-y cooked bread on his fork, studies it like it’s going to tell him the secret to unlocking Tim. Did the kid do this for him? And if he did, what exactly was it supposed to mean? A peace offering, maybe? But then why did he run off again when he saw Jason?

He decides to worry about it later and finishes his breakfast.

On his way out to pick up groceries for Alfred, he passes by Bruce’s study again. He pops his head in for only a second, just long enough to see Tim in the bay window again, already reading a different book than he had been last night.

The next day has the whole Manor in a buzz much more than usual. Dick had come home early so he could hang out before game night. He and Jason play basketball out back before coming in and having lunch. Its Alfred’s cooking this time. Bruce is still at work for a meeting, but he’d promised to be home in time for tonight’s activities. While they wait, both boys shower in their respective bathrooms before heading to the home theater to kill some time and watch a few cheesy eighties action movies.

Barbara arrives later in the evening, bringing the takeout she offered to buy, to Alfred’s displeasure. Bruce finally makes it an hour later. Jason goes up to Tim’s room to take him a plate of food and knocks on his door to invite him down, but the kid never answers so Jason gives up.

He heads back to the den, they divide up their teams (even though they are uneven) and play.

Two hours later when everyone needs a breather and heads to the kitchen to replenish their refreshments, Dick, Babs and Jason are halted in their endeavor when they see Tim descending the staircase.

“Hey, Tim! Where have you been hiding?! We’ve been wondering if you would join us. Jason and Bruce could really use your help in the next round.” Babs says cheerily, keeping the mood light.

Jason and Dick both turn to her in complete shock.

“Hi, Barbara. It’s good to see you again.” Tim mutters quietly, a small smile on his delicate features.

Jason can’t help but notice how he looks slightly less thin than he did when he first came to live with them, and his eyes look brighter, have more color in them. He looks less gaunt, more alive. And something strange about that has Jason feeling satisfied. Maybe because it’s a sign that he actually has been eating the food that Jason’s been leaving at his door.

“Wow, you’re all grown up! I haven’t seen you in, gosh, it’s probably been four years!”

“Uh?” Dick says, rather unintelligently.

“Oh! That’s right, I never told you. Dick, Tim’s dad and my dad met at a charity- function years back. I used to babysit Tim for a while. Back when he still needed help with algebra homework.” Babs says with a beautiful, effortless smile and a wink, earning her a smile from Tim that’s almost as heartfelt.

Jason’s heart squeezes in his chest. It’s the first time Jason’s seen him smile, really smile, not just look like he’s wincing, since he got here. It makes him a little bit jealous of Babs. It also makes him hate Tim that much more for making him weak in the knees. Not to mention the fact that even after all they’ve done to make Tim feel welcome, he’s never once shown a smile like that to them.

Jason’s not sure what this kid’s aversion to the Wayne family is about, but he can certainly play that game, too.

“You know, guys, I think I’m good on that drink for now,” Jason grits out, turning his back to Tim as he makes eye contact with Babs and Dick. “Do you guys mind if I join your team this round? Alfred and Bruce can have _him_.” Jason doesn’t even bother to say Tim’s name, just nods his head behind him where Tim is still standing.

“That’s _fine_ , Jason,” Barbara assures him, trying to soothe the tension in the air. “Tim, you’ll do great. Come on, grab a drink and join us!”

And Tim does. Not after Jason had invited him to, not after Bruce had asked, no, but now he sure as hell does.

After an hour, they switch to a different game, and Jason watches as Tim picks at some of the cookies that Alfred had baked.

“Okay, this game is in pairs. Dick, you’re with Bruce. Alfred, you’re with me. And Tim you’re with Jason!”

Jason gives her a look that says he’s not going to speak to her for a week if she does this, and Babs gives him a look right back that says she’s going to pop him one if he doesn’t agree and stop being rude. Jason concedes in the end.

“Alright, everyone, grab a stack of cards,” the redhead instructs.

It takes only fifteen minutes for the group to break out into a disagreement. It’s practically anarchy as Dick accuses Alfred of cheating and all but throws a tantrum, acting like a small child. Barbara is in Dick’s face, telling him to be quiet if he’s smart. Alfred is trying to talk her out of injuring Dick and Bruce is looking slightly anxious as he asks if they can simply play another game.

Tim and Jason are sitting next to each other on the couch, but with an entire couch cushion between them, both staying clear of the drama. Out of the corner of his eye, he can feel Tim looking at him and turns his head. This time the boy blushes but meets his stare and doesn’t look away. He raises his eyebrows, tilting his head towards the chaos. Jason is so caught off guard that he almost forgets he’s supposed to respond.

“Yeah, I know. But it’s not always this crazy. I promise. Dick is just a sore loser. It’s because he knows everyone in this room can kick his ass at just about everything. He likes to try and get a win in where he can.”

Tim laughs at that. Honest to god laughs! It’s more of a giggle than an outright chuckle, but Jason will take it. The sound is like a wind chime, like an ocean breeze. The most beautiful and soothing sound Jason has ever heard. And his smile is doing all sorts of crazy things to Jason’s vitals.

He manages to smile back at Tim, feeling like butterflies are trying to actually fucking claw their way out of his stomach. And that’s all it takes for Jason to forget about how angry he was at Tim.

Jason takes the liberty to scoot just a bit closer to Tim.

“Do you… do you like this game?” Jason wonders if he sounds like he’s prying, because he absolutely is.

Tim shrugs, soft smile on his lips.

“First time playing it.” He says faintly.

“Dick always picks it, but clearly we need to stop letting him.” Jason jokes and Tim hums a laugh, smile still in place. “What _do_ you like to play?”

“I don’t know, really. I haven’t played many games like these before. I can play poker. And chess. A few others. That’s really about it. I tend to like strategy games.”

And that just won’t do.

Jason slips two fingers into his mouth and whistles loudly, gaining everyone’s attention.

“Okay, enough of that bullshit. Now we’re going to play _my_ favorite game. Same teams. Babs, get the timer. Just watch and learn, Tim. You’ll pick up on it quickly. Don’t worry, you’ll do just fine.”

Jason ends up catching Bruce’s eye, and the look his adoptive father gives him makes Jason sure of the fact that this is the only family he’s ever wanted to be a part of.

Tim does do great, he and Jason winning handily throughout the several rounds they play. Somewhere around midnight, Bruce suggests they settle in for a movie while Alfred cleans up.

“You wanna watch with us?” Jason asks, turning to Tim with a hopeful expression where he now sits practically right next to Jason. He hopes he doesn’t sound too desperate.

“Oh, um, maybe in a bit. I was actually going to take a look around the garden. I wanted to see the, um, statues you’d mentioned before.”

The cute blush of his is back, and Jason is transfixed by the way Tim is gnawing at his bottom lip.

“Mind if I join you?”

Tim looks almost as surprised as Jason feels, but he shakes his head in affirmation.

“Hey, guys, you coming? We’re about to start the movie.” Dick informs them as he grabs his drink.

Tim looks lost. Not knowing how to politely decline the invitation.

“We’ll be there in a bit. I wanna show Tim something real quick,” Jason intervenes.

“What?” Dick queries, nervous and curious at the same time. He eyes Jason warily.

“Richard! Don’t pester them! Let’s go!” Barbara urges, winking at Jason and grabbing Dick by the arm, dragging him away.

Jason shakes his head, a pitying smile on his face. Dick is in way over his head with Barbara Gordon.

“She winked at you.” Tim states bluntly once it’s just them, gazing adamantly up at Jason.

“Yeah. She probably thinks I’m gonna try to hit you.”

Tim’s eyes widen and he takes a step away. He looks not so much scared as immensely embarrassed.

“Shit. That was supposed to be a joke, sorry.” Jason laughs pathetically, hoping it’ll relax Tim. It doesn’t. “Um, anyway, I can head down to watch the movie if you’ve changed your mind about wanting me to come. I won’t be upset if you’d rather go alone.”

Tim stares at him for a moment like he’s debating. It feels like forever and Jason seriously considers just walking away, utterly embarrassed, when Tim finally answers.

“You can come. Besides, what makes you think I couldn’t handle myself if you did try to hit me?” And Tim walks towards the back door just like that.

Jason is left stunned, staring after him, and then quickly recovers and follows, trying to make it look like this boy doesn’t already have him dick whipped.

The two of them walk in even strides, side by side as Jason takes the lead down his favorite garden path. It’s dark out, but being this far from Gotham City means they have the light of the stars and moon to guide them on this clear night.

It’s quiet between them, only slightly awkward as they make their way to the heart of the multi- acre garden, where Bruce’s statue collection lies.

“Wow,” Tim gasps, completely awed.

He runs delicate fingers down bronze legs, plaster heads, copper arms, steel torsos. Jason sits on the nearest bench and watches Tim, absolutely entrancing in his own right. The small boy is beautiful, breath taking as he all but dances in enjoyment from one statue to the next in the moonlight.

Jason quietly gets up, heads a short way down another all too familiar path, and comes back with a surprise for Tim, who hadn’t even noticed he’d left.

“This collection is really incredible. Oh. What’s this?” He asks when he sees what’s in Jason’s hand.

“A blue rose. Bruce created them himself. Engineered and bred the right flowers, planted them when Dick came to live here. It’s his favorite color.” He holds the rose out to Tim, an offering. Might as well be his fucking heart. “When Dick and I were younger, and we used to fight really bad, I’d come out here and rip these off their bushes until my hands bled. Dick would be furious. But Bruce never did get mad at me about it. Just helped clean me up. Even though I’d been a spiteful little shit.”

Tim looks up at him, eyes wide, but not in fear this time. In wonder.

“So, Bruce Wayne really is as smart and kind as they say. And here I thought it was all hype.”

Jason laughs hard at that, loud and hysterical and probably obnoxious. Tim looks confused, like he couldn’t have possibly said anything funny, but smiles just the same.

“You’ll have to tell Bruce that. He’ll get a real kick out of it.” Jason watches Tim closely and the smaller boy is watching him right back. “You know, Tim,” he says, taking a step closer, “we don’t want to replace your family. We just want to invite you to also become a part of ours. We’re happy we have you here.” Jason swallows, remembers about the promise he’d made to himself, pushes it aside for just a moment and takes another step closer. “And… I-“

Tim yelps, drops the rose and hisses as he stares down at his hand. There’s puncture marks on his fingers and in his palm from the thorns, like Tim had been squeezing it. Like he didn’t realize that he’d even been doing it at all. Like he was nervous. Somehow forgot the thorns were there. Was distracted, maybe, by… something else.

Jason cups Tim’s petite hand gingerly in his own. It’s so tiny, bird bone light and a little clammy.

“Fuck, man. Are you alright? Ouch, this looks pretty bad.” Jason asks, still staring at the wounds on Tim’s hand.

“I’m fine,” said shakily. Tim gently slides his hand out of Jason’s, licks at a drop of blood on the tip of one finger. It leaves a pink stain on his bottom lip that Jason can’t take his eyes off of.

Suddenly, Jason feels an interested twitch from his dick and physically shakes himself, decides it is definitely time to head back to the Manor before he _actually_ does something stupid.

“Uh, what do you say we head back? We’ll get you cleaned up and then see what movie they’ve got going.”

Tim nods, and he looks almost frustrated. Not with Jason, though. He won’t even look at Jason. Maybe he’s angry with himself? Jason isn’t sure. But Tim glares at his palm even as he cradles it as he follows Jason up the path back to the house.

As promised, Jason helps him get cleaned up and disinfects his wounds. Maybe goes a step overboard and wraps Tim’s whole hand in a bandage just to be safe. He just wants to make sure the small boy is completely taken care of.

They swing by the kitchen, grabbing drinks and a bag of chips (or an apple in Tim’s case), and head to the theater. There’s some cheesy ninety’s romantic comedy playing that Jason is almost sure Barbara selected. Even in the dark he can see her lips moving as she quotes it. Still, he makes himself comfortable in the last row of seats and is more than surprised when Tim chooses the seat right next to him.

Jason considers moving seats, getting himself as far away from Tim as possible after his reaction in the garden. He needs space. Needs to get himself under control. To breathe. To fucking _think_. Still, he stands up, digs through a basket against the wall, and comes back to his seat, covering himself with a blanket and offering the second one he’d grabbed to Tim.

Tim takes it, thanks him, and that look of wonder is back in his eyes. Jason isn’t really sure why, but he isn’t all that upset by it.

Once the movie is over, Jason looks over to find Tim asleep in his chair. Bruce and Alfred had excused themselves long ago and are already in bed. Jason is half asleep, himself. He’d thought Barbara and Dick were, until they stand up and turn around to take in him and Tim.

“Poor thing. He looks exhausted.” Babs says.

“Thanks for helping him relax a little, Babs. I’m glad he had fun tonight. He deserved it. Hey, Jay, what happened to his hand?”

“Roses.” Is Jason’s simple explanation.

“Hm,” Barbara says, smirking at him. “Hey! How about next time we invite your friend Roy, Jason? He’s funny! I bet Tim would love him!”

Dick scoffs at that.

“We want him to have fun with us, Barbara, not scar him for life.”

Jason laughs at that.

“Should we just let him sleep here?” Babs wonders aloud.

“Nah. I’ll carry him up.” Dick offers.

“That’s okay, Dick! I can do it!” Jason quickly volunteers and hopes it doesn’t come across as needy as it sounds to his own ears.

He follows Dick and Barbara up the stairs, cradling Tim in his arms like he’s something precious to be cared for. And honestly, it kind of feels like he weighs about the same as one of his miniature statues would.

Dick lends a hand and opens Tim’s bedroom door before he and Barbara bid Jason goodnight.

Jason lays Tim cautiously on his bed, not wanting to jostle him or cause him to stir in anyway. It’s too hard to pull back the covers one handed, so he ends up grabbing Tim’s throw to cover him up. He stares at the innocent, less troubled sleeping face. He looks so young. As young as he is, and Jason is reminded of just how impure and wrong his feelings for this boy are. He’s gorgeous, yes, but it doesn’t make him any less youthful.

So, Jason chooses to do the most innocent, and yet, most satisfying thing he can do right now. He brushes a hand over Tim’s face, pushing back the dark silky hair, and plants a kiss right in the center of Tim’s forehead. He lets his lips linger for a moment. Feels Tim’s heat, takes in the scent of sweat and Tim’s shampoo.

After just the simple gesture, it’s instantly not enough for him and Jason knows immediately he’s made a huge mistake. _Of course_ he’s made a huge mistake. He knew it would be a mistake even before he did it. He should walk out of Tim’s room right now and leave The Manor altogether. He knows this. He should, but he won’t. He needs to take this just a little bit further. Take a slightly bigger bite of the proverbial apple. For his own sanity.

So, he presses his lips to Tim’s neck, gently. He’s been obsessed with the absolutely gorgeous, pale column since Tim got here. It’s beautiful, slim, truly exquisite and almost willowy in its smooth curve from the way Tim has his head tilted back pliably. The skin there is flawless and Jason wants to lick it. He doesn’t.

Still not enough for him, Jason allows himself one more private sin and presses his lips softly to Tim’s. Tim doesn’t budge. There’s no pressure to the kiss, no dampness, hardly any heat. Just a feather light touch that soothes Jason while also making him twinge with want. Jason forces his mouth to remain closed just as Tim’s is. He wants more. God, does he ever want more. But he won’t allow himself to take it. He won’t. And it takes all the strength in his body to make himself end the strange kiss.

He backs away before he loses all sense of self- control and closes Tim’s door, heading back to his own room where he hops in the shower, washes off the night, and jerks off quickly and methodically to relieve at least some of the wound- up tension in his body.

It does nothing for him. He’d kept his fantasies fairly clean and as far away from Tim as he could, but his orgasm isn’t very satisfying. He dreams of Tim that night. Wakes up the next morning harder than he’s ever been in his life, with flashes of a naked dream- Tim fluttering temptingly across his eyelids.

He takes another shower, this one cold, and refuses to touch himself.

He heads down for breakfast, finding everyone already awake and enjoying waffles.

“Morning, Jay.” Tim greets him quietly.

His heart skips a beat at hearing Tim’s voice, sweet and alluring as he uses Jason’s nickname.

“What’s this? You made breakfast again? You just cooked for us yesterday.” Jason states dumbly, like he’s missing something profound.

“Yeah, but I just wanted to thank you all for the fun I had last night. For giving me another chance and forgiving my prior, utterly unacceptable behavior and for pushing me out of my comfort zone and in the right direction.” He smiles at Jason, and Jason can feel the moment his own carefully constructed smile falls apart into something hopeful and dopey and a little bit love struck. “Anyway,” Tim continues with a shake of his head, focusing on the waffles once more, “I asked Alfred what else you liked for breakfast and he said waffles, except he said you guys never eat his. So, I decided I’d give it a try with my own recipe and they seem to be a hit so far.”

Jason takes a bite of his and practically moans his agreement around the bite in his mouth. Of course Tim would be a great cook, too. How could Jason not be into this kid?

“Don’t get too comfortable behind the stove, Master Timothy. The only person regularly allowed in this kitchen is me.” Alfred teases, earning himself one of Tim’s smiles that are becoming less and less foreign by the minute.

“You should take his word for it,” Bruce chimes in with a laugh. “The last time I tried to help for a few days was when Alfred sprained his wrist, and I had hot rolls thrown at me for my trouble.”

That makes everyone laugh, except for Alfred, who is remembering that incident perfectly.

“I don’t mind helping. I actually really enjoy cooking. I always kind of have.” Tim doesn’t look at them when he speaks, his attention currently focused on some fresh berries he’s slicing up.

“Well,” Alfred throws an arm around Tim, and it’s the most affection Jason’s seen him give anyone in a long time. “Then you are most welcome in here any time you like, young sir.”

Tim smiles hugely, his smile nearly blinding. Jason's almost certain his heart is going to give out.

While Jason helps Alfred clean up once everyone is done, Tim finds his way back to the kitchen to help as well.

“Um… Jason?” Tim calls to him as he puts the leftover food in storage containers.

Jason will never get used to, nor stop loving the way his name sounds in the soft lilt of Tim’s voice. Nor will he ever get used to watching Tim’s elegant, yet strong hands work so decisively in everything he does.

“Yeah?” He doesn’t look up as he starts loading the dishes into the washer, not wanting to risk meeting Tim’s eyes and have Alfred catch him struggling to look away. Or worse, see the true emotions roiling behind Jason’s eyes.

“Um… I just… I wanted… thank you for carrying me to my bed last night. I’m sorry you had to do that.” Tim blurts out in a rush.

Jason does look up, then. Has to, and he isn’t disappointed when he sees that blush on Tim’s face again, his new _favorite_ blush.

“No problem. It was no trouble at all.” Jason gives him an easy smile, hoping there’s no hint of a predatory look in it. “I mean, you hardly weigh a thing, so it’s not a big deal or anything.” He has not a single idea when Alfred managed to slip himself out of the room unnoticed.

Tim rolls his eyes, says, “I’m not _that_ light.” Jason might just be more in love than ever after seeing this newfound sassy side of Tim’s.

“Tim, I _carried_ you. I _know_ how light you are. What do you weigh, like, a buck? A buck ten?”

The scandalized look Tim gives him almost makes him crack up.

“I weigh just over sixty- one kilograms, thank you, or one hundred and thirty- five pounds.”

“Bullshit!”

“Entirely true! I do work out, you know! And muscle weighs more than fat.” Tim states matter of fact, and punctuates his knowledge by sticking his tongue out at Jason, a proud little smile on his face as graceful hands are placed on slender, cocked hips.

_Oh my god, I am so fucking in love with this kid._

“Whatever you say, Timmy.” Jason surrenders.

Tim nods and crosses his arms like he’s won something.

Later, when Jason finds him in the library again, he gives Tim the hot cocoa in person. And before he has the chance to leave, Tim invites him to stay and read with him. Only too eager to accept, Jason picks up the first book he sees, a “how to” on regulating a pond, not that it matters. He doesn’t look at a single page, too caught up in carefully staring at Tim over the top of the book as he sits across from Jason.

Alfred stays true to his word of letting Tim help in the kitchen. It helps the kid come out of his shell even more, and he always looks happy when Jason sees him with some kind of cooking utensil in his hand. He’s an amazing chef, almost as good as Alfred. He cooks breakfast practically every morning now, and Alfred lets him help with most dinners, too.

Jason’s learned that Tim’s favorite thing to do in the kitchen is bake, and he truly excels with any and all types of desserts.

The Manor starts to feel warmer after that. Almost normal again. Almost like a home again. Not quite cozy, because no house with as many bedrooms as The Manor can really ever be called cozy, but the closest thing to it.

Tim begins to interact with them regularly. Watches television with them. Eats meals with them semi- regularly. And on the nights when he doesn’t join them, Jason still goes up to his room to invite him down. He never does manage to actually make himself extend the invitation, though. Because on those nights he can hear Tim crying through the door again, and he decides it’s best to leave him be.

When Tim isn’t cooking (and Jason isn’t keeping him company as he does so), he and Jason take walks in the garden, or read in the library. Every now and then he even works up the courage to come to Jason’s room and watch him fool around (poorly) on his guitar. Eventually Jason talks him into checking out the game room and Tim loves it once he finally acquiesces to Jason’s suggestion. Jason is trying to help introduce him to other new, normal things that he obviously never took part in in his old life. He and Tim now watch a cheesy action movie every single day before bed, and it’s not quite like it was with Dick, but it’s still absolutely perfect.

He agrees to start working out with Tim in the gym, and he was right, definitely a gymnast. Tim is graceful as he moves, lithe, but he’s stronger than he looks, too. However, it all almost ends up being a complete disaster when Jason watches him one day on the beam. There’s sweat dripping down Tim’s neck, his thin t- shirt becoming translucent and sticking to his chest, his hair matted to his forehead. Jason gets so hard that he nearly falls to his knees. He tells Tim he’s running to the bathroom and doesn’t end up coming back. After that, he only works out with Tim while wearing an athletic cup. And Jason doesn’t dare ever offer to go swimming with Tim in the heated basement pool, and forget the idea of sitting in the hot tub with him. The last thing he needs is to see Tim completely shirtless, fair skin flushed with the heat of the water as droplets drip down his lean body.

He starts inviting Tim to hang out with him in the garage while he works on some of Bruce’s old cars. Jason doesn’t know if he’s actually interested in it, or if he’s faking it, but he seems to enjoy it.

The two of them become practically inseparable, one of them always following the other around. They get along well, and conversing and socializing with each other becomes easy. Just being in Tim’s presence makes Jason feel lighter.

That also doesn’t go unnoticed and Bruce brings it up one day while Jason is caught reading in the library.

“You and Tim seem to be very close now. I wonder who could’ve seen that coming when he told you to wait for Tim to come around on his own time,” Bruce tugs on Jason’s ear playfully.

Jason swats him away, rolling his eyes.

“Yeah, yeah. Fatherly wisdom, right? You know all and see all.”

“And don’t you forget it!” Bruce commands, teasingly smacking Jason in the back of the head.

Jason stands and tries and fails to get Bruce in a headlock, and the two rough- house until Alfred comes in and admonishes them, demanding they sit and drink their afternoon tea like civilized human beings. Tim joins them as well a short time later, talking cheerily about his upcoming college entrance exams.

The newest Wayne son is hardly sad anymore. He’s hardly quiet anymore. He hardly locks himself away anymore. Jason isn’t sure what brought on the change in Tim’s attitude, but he is more than grateful. Even if he can’t ever have Tim in the ways that he wants him, he knows that Tim is now one of the best things to ever have happened to his life.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For anyone interested, the titles of the chapters are actually based off of the five stages of grief.
> 
> Thanks again you guys! I so appreciate each and every one of you. Love to you all!


	3. Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jason and Tim are both forced to come to terms with some things that they'd rather not. It hurts them both, but eventually they both manage to recover from it, as well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey y'all! So, I know it's been a long ass time since I posted on this story, but I was in a serious writing funk for a while. I recently put out another story that I'd been working on for a while, and I was finally able to work through my writer's block. I'm really glad, too, because I had big plans for this story and it ended up being pretty close to what I imagined. Well, anyway, I hope you guys enjoy this and that you aren't too mad about the long hiatus. Thank you everyone who stuck with this and to everyone who read it, left a comment, kudos, or even did all three. 
> 
> I also need to be honest with you guys for a moment. So, in the time I spent away from this story, I've become really uncomfortable with underage characters being involved in sexual situations, and for my own comfort I had to age Tim up a few years. Hope that doesn't both many of you, but otherwise there may not have been a final chapter.
> 
> (Also, if anyone notices some wonky shit happening, I probably won't go back and edit for a few days, so just ignore it to the best of your abilities.)
> 
> Enjoy!

“Jay! Jason!” A familiar voice whines from somewhere close to his ear.

Jason is being woken up way too fucking early on a Saturday morning. His “little brother” currently making him absolutely miserable.

“Jay!” Tim whines, “I need to borrow your toothpaste!” He’s straddling Jason’s back, tapping what Jason guesses is his toothbrush on Jason’s head.

“You used the rest of my shampoo last night. Now you need my toothpaste, too? Fuck, you’re needy.”

More than six months have passed, and Tim is absolutely comfortable now that he’s found his place within the Wayne household. He’s become every bit the obnoxious little brother he should be. Every bit the obnoxious little brother Jason is sure _he_ probably was back in the day, and still is on occasion.

Tim is annoying in some way or other on a daily basis. He drives Jason crazy and grates on his last nerve. He’s a brat and a smartass and an absolute pain. And god, Jason is more in love with him than ever.

Tim is beautiful. He’s smart, he’s funny, and he’s witty. He’s kind and silly and full of bite when he needs to be. He is everything Jason could ever dream of. Graceful, innocent, and so full of spirit.

And still really fucking off limits. The kid is fucking jailbait. Something that Jason cannot touch _ever_. That he shouldn’t touch, if he was smart, but it gets harder by the day for Jason to try to keep his hands off of Tim.

The chill has made itself at home in the Gotham air. Jason and Tim are both attending classes at Gotham State, and autumn has fallen over the city. Tim doesn’t mind being out a few days a week. Jason’s not sure if that’s unusual or not for him. Doesn’t want to ask. Not that it matters, there isn’t a single person on campus who knows who he is. All they know is he’s young. _Really_ young.

Tim had had a birthday a few months ago, making him sixteen, and Jason’s had followed shortly after. Sure, Tim is now a year closer to being legal, but he still isn’t. He’s still five years younger than Jason, who is now twenty- one, and he’s still just a kid.

They have class three days a week, though none together. They’re both smart, smart at different things, but Tim is definitely a huge help when Jason needs a hand on homework.

They don’t see each other much on campus, but it’s okay. Tim seems to be doing alright, and Jason usually treats them to coffee as soon as they wrap up for the day. Every now and then he’s even able to talk Tim into hanging out downtown for a little while, doing some shopping, and hitting up a few bookstores before Jason drives them home.

It isn’t easy, spending this much alone time with Tim. Jason loves every second of it, but it’s also killing him slowly. Still, he wouldn’t change anything.

They’re in Jason’s room one night doing homework, Jason sitting on the floor with his back against the foot of his bed, and Tim lying on the bed, his head at the foot of the bed, near Jason’s. Jason can feel Tim watching him over his shoulder, monitoring him as he works his equations.

Jason sets down his book, sighs, and turns to Tim with a smirk.

“Something I can help you with, twerp?”

Tim taps Jason’s nose with his pencil.

“No. I’m just bored. I need a break from homework for a while. It’s all too repetitive. And introductory algebra is a waste of time. I’ve been doing this stuff since I was thirteen. I should’ve enrolled in college calculus.”

Jason laughs, rolls his eyes.

“Alright, well, if you’re so bored, what do you want me to do about it?”

Tim gives him a sweet smile, one that always makes Jason’s dick stir.

“Will you play your guitar for me?”

Jason laughs again, giving him a skeptical look.

“Why? I’m not good at it. I can’t even really play anything.”

“Then why do you have a guitar?”

Jason shrugs, “I asked Bruce for it one year for Christmas when I was going through my ‘I wanna be a rock star’ phase. Now I just use it to screw around on when I need to relieve some stress.”

“Will you play for me?”

He isn’t stupid. Jason knows he can’t actually ever deny Tim anything that he asks. He just likes to tell himself that he still has some power over himself. That’s he’s not completely pathetic and entirely dick whipped. But who is he kidding? He’s pretty sure that even Tim must realize how weak Jason’s resolve is when it comes to him.

“Fine.” Jason huffs.

He picks up the instrument, tosses the strap over his shoulder as he sets it gently across his lap. Jason strums, plays some scales, some songs he taught himself, and the one he wrote himself that he’s been working on since Tim moved in.

“Jay, can I ask you something?”

“You just did,” Jason teases.

“Seriously.”

Jason stops playing, turns so that he can face Tim, putting a little more space between them this way than there had been when their heads were only a few inches apart from each other.

“How did you come to live here with Bruce? What happened to your family? If you don’t mind me asking.”

It’s not really all that tragic of a story. Jason doesn’t mind telling him. Does. Tells him Dick’s and Bruce’s story as well.

Tim is absolutely speechless when Jason finishes. Looks as if he might cry. Part of Jason feels guilty, even if Tim had been the one to ask.

“Hey, hey, it’s okay. It was a really long time ago for all of us. It’s not a big deal anymore. Dick and Bruce still miss their families, sure, but we all have each other now.”

Tim nods, a solemn smile on his face.

It’s quiet for a long while between them. Jason doesn’t touch his guitar, just watches Tim’s face. And Tim doesn’t talk, not for several minutes. He fiddles with Jason’s comforter, swallows several times.

“Sometimes I used to wish I really was an orphan,” Tim finally says.

Jason wasn’t expecting him to say anything at all, so, he’s expecting those words least of all when Tim says it.

“I thought my parents just couldn’t stand to be around me. They were always gone. I was always on my own. So, I thought if I were really alone then I wouldn’t be able to feel so bad about it. And now look where I am. I really am on my own now. How could I have thought such terrible things? How could I have thought being alone forever was better than being alone for just a few short weeks?

“I was supposed to be with them! I was supposed to be on that plane with them! It was our family vacation. But I was mad because they cancelled on our last one and I refused to go. I should’ve been there! Or I should’ve made them stay home! Instead I acted like a spoiled, petulant brat and now my parents are dead! Now I have no one in this world anymore that loves me!”

Tim’s face is red and wet with his now constant stream of tears. Jason’s heart breaks just watching him.

“Tim… we all love you. So much. You’re our family now.”

He reaches out a tentative hand to comfort Tim, but the smaller boy flinches away and gets up, yanking the door open and sprinting from the room. Jason fights against the ache in his chest and the desire to run after Tim and hold him close. Kiss him and tell him that it’s okay. That Jason loves him so much and will tell him every day if it helps.

But he likes to think that in all this time he knows Tim, and he knows he should leave him alone. Knows that Tim needs his space. But god, Tim is hurting and so Jason is hurting. Badly. And there’s nothing he can do.

It takes Tim a few days to shake off the conversation. It burrowed its way deep into Tim’s brain, but it was also really informative. Jason now understands the guilt Tim feels. The sadness that still touches his every- day life. The loneliness he’s felt for a long time.

Jason doesn’t like that Tim feels those things. And he does his best to cheer him up in little ways. He’s not confident that it’s always effective, but he always gets Tim to smile and that is a victory in itself.

Still, things go well. Tim is one of _them_ now. He seems happy. And Jason is doing a successful job of keeping himself restrained. Not that he’s some kind of fiend that can’t control his urges. But sometimes it gets so hard to cup Tim’s cheek when his smile falls. Or to not kiss him and reassure him how much he’s loved. Or even just to hold his hand and let Tim know that he’s here. That he’ll always be here for him.

More time slips by, like clouds on a windy day. The chill leaves, and winter settles over Gotham city. Christmas will be coming soon, and Jason is excited to share this one with Tim. To act like they’re all a real family. Jason has embarrassing fantasies and day dreams about how they’ll spend Christmas together.

None of that matters, though. Because it only takes one small incident for his world to come crashing down.

They’re just taking one of the usual turns about the city. Grabbing a coffee, heading to a book store, taking in the sights. Jason would’ve never thought something so innocent and fun could turn into something so ugly and malicious.

They’re heading back to Jason’s car, coffee and new books in hand. They’re laughing over light conversation. Jason thinks nothing of the two men heading straight toward them on the sidewalk. They appear to be normal businessmen, young, but dressed up in the tell- tale white button ups and slacks. They pause a few feet from Jason and Tim. It catches the both of their attention, and Jason looks at them skeptically, but it’s not until he looks over at Tim that he sees the pink tint to his cheeks and the look of pure terror in his eyes.

“Well, well, well. Look at this, Tony! You remember little Tim Drake. The little queer from that party all those years back!”

“Holy shit, Andy. You’re right!” The second guy laughs.

This hits Jason in multiple different ways. First, he thinks they’re talking to him. But he knows he’s never met these guys in his life. He would’ve remembered the complete douche- factor they’ve got going on. Then, when his brain catches up, he realizes they are actually talking to Tim. At first, he feels pure confusion, because Tim isn’t gay. He would’ve told Jason that. Or Dick. Or Babs. He works through all of these things until the last thing he feels is rage that they’ve spoken to Tim so disrespectfully.

“Excuse me, _gentleman,_ ” Jason practically spits the word. Thinking these two jokers are anything but. “But I don’t like the way you’re speaking to my brother. I think you must have him confused for somebody else. So, why don’t you make like a tree and fuck off.” He snaps, pushing Tim behind him slightly as he takes a step forward, partially obscuring him from sight.

“Oh no. I know exactly who I’m talking to. I’d remember this little fairy anywhere. He tried to kiss me at a party a few years back. Tony, you remember. He kept stalking us the whole night, and when we finally said he could come hang out with us, the little freak tried to kiss me.” The one named Tony says.

Jason can feel his eyes widen and he turns around to glance at Tim. The small boy has tears in his eyes, the look of terror still on his face.

“You remember when we told his dad?” Andy asks. “He freaked out on us like it was our fault. When it was _this_ little pansy’s fault!”

Jason’s heard enough. In fact, he’s heard more than enough. He reacts without thinking, dropping his things to the sidewalk and charging forward, kneeing one in the stomach with all his might, before turning to the other and decking him straight in the face. He can’t say it isn’t satisfying when he hears the crack of a broken nose.

“Don’t you _ever_ speak to him that way again! And in fact, if you even come near him again, I’ll kill you both!” The scary part of that is that Jason means it. And he absolutely would not hesitate to defend Tim however was necessary if he had to.

Neither of them is standing, so, Jason wraps an arm around Tim and guides him away, toward the car, not even turning back to see if the men are still on the ground.

The ride home is long, filled with a loaded silence. Tim won’t look at him, but Jason’s pretty sure he’s still crying. It breaks his heart. Tim heads straight for his room when they get back to the Manor. Jason lets Tim be. He knows better than to push him. But he also doesn’t want Tim’s brain to linger on this for too long.

Tim remains in his room for the entirety of the next day and Jason is beyond worried. When Tim doesn’t appear at dinner Jason decides it’s time to step into action.

When he knocks on Tim’s door there’s no answer. He knocks again and still nothing. So, he tries the knob and it turns. The room is pitch black. Jason is hardly able to make out Tim sitting on his bed.

“You were never supposed to find out about that.” Tim says into the darkness.

“About what? Yesterday? About two assholes who treated you like shit when you were a kid? Tim, you can’t think that’s your fault.”

It goes quiet between them. In the dark, the seconds stretch out as if they’re never ending. Tim waits so long to speak that the sound of his voice nearly makes Jason jump.

“You know that’s not what I was talking about, Jason. Andy… he was telling the truth. I did try to kiss him. But it was because he told me to. I was eleven. I didn’t know any better. I thought maybe he actually liked me. And then his same friend that was with him today walked in on us. Andy pretended like it was only me. Like it was my idea. He shoved me away. We were in a closet. Do you know how embarrassing it is to be shoved into a mop bucket and get stuck while two teenage boys run to your father to tell him what happened?”

That lights a fire in Jason. A raging inferno of hatred and ferocity and complete savagery. He wishes he’d broken _both_ of their noses now. Wishes he’d ripped them limb from limb and left them bleeding out on the sidewalk. Because now he knows he wouldn’t have felt a single goddamn bit of remorse.

“That was the last public event I was seen at. I couldn’t face that type of humiliation again. And my father… I know he wasn’t ashamed of me, but to have to have him threaten two young boys to keep them from spilling my secret. A secret that could’ve destroyed my family. I hid from the media for _years_. I swore to myself I would never act on those urges again. That I would bury it. Nobody knew besides them and my parents. So, I’m sorry that you had to find out about this.”

“What the fuck, Tim? You think I’d care that you’re gay? After all this? You shouldn’t have to hide that!”

“Don’t! _Don’t_ say it out loud! I’m _not_. I’ve never acted on it since then! I can’t be gay. Not if I don’t…”

The light from the stars outside catches on the tears on Tim’s cheeks. Jason can see the shine of them perfectly now. He doesn’t hesitate this time to wrap Tim up in a hug and hold him close.

“Please… please don’t tell anyone. Not even Bruce or Dick.”

“I won’t, Tim. I swear.”

He holds Tim until the younger boy falls asleep in his embrace, laying him down on the bed and kissing his forehead softly. It’s the one thing he’ll allow himself tonight. And he only does it to comfort Tim, not himself. At least, he does it mostly for Tim.

The door closes with a soft click as he leaves Tim’s room. He heads straight for Bruce’s room at the opposite end of the hall. The house is quiet tonight. Bruce already retired to his quarters, and Alfred off who knows where. The silence used to scare Jason. Used to make him feel like he was living in a museum. Now he’s used to it. But sometimes he wishes that it felt more like a home.

He knocks on Bruce’s door and hears the man’s deep voice inviting him in.

“Is Tim alright?” Bruce asks when Jason closes the door.

Jason doesn’t answer. He doesn’t really need to. He knows that Bruce already knows the answer to that question.

“Bruce,” Jason starts. He’s nervous. He doesn’t really know why he came in here to begin with, but he knows now exactly why he’s here. “Bruce, I think I might be gay. Or maybe bisexual? I just… you’re my father, Bruce. You are ten times the man, the ‘father’,” Jason air quotes, “who I actually share DNA with, and I didn’t want to hide this from you. I hope you can forgive me.”

Bruce sets down his book- the man is always reading about something new- and he gives Jason a hurt and perplexed look; eyebrows knitting together and mouth settling into a firm line.

“Jason, don’t ever apologize for who you are. And especially not for feeling love. No matter what gender is on the receiving end of it. Do you think I would love you any less because the love you feel expands beyond any one gender? There is nothing you could say, not ever, that would make me any less of your father or your number one supporter. I will never love you any less. But I am so happy that you’re able to tell me this.”

Maybe he’s a fucking moron for crying over Bruce’s words, but it hurts to think that Jason was parented by someone so accepting of his every flaw, while Tim had had to hide a secret that made him _him_ for half a decade.

He rushes to Bruce’s bedside, giving him an awkward hug as he thanks him. Not just for this, but for everything Bruce has given to him.

The next morning, they all have breakfast together, Tim included. He’s quiet, but he seems to be alright. He smiles as Jason prattles on about his usual nonsense. And even laughs when Alfred makes a backhanded remark that takes Jason several seconds to realize is an insult. He disappears after breakfast, though. And when Jason does find him, it’s in Bruce’s study.

“Please, don’t tell Dick or Jason.” He hears Tim say.

“You have my word, Tim.”

Jason opens the door and enters the study, then, not wanting to lead on that he’s heard anything.

“Hey, Timmy! Been looking for you everywhere. We need to get to class soon. Are you ready?”

Tim smiles at him and nods, but not before turning to give Bruce a small, secretive smile.

Tim seems completely back to normal during the drive to campus. He’s as chatty as ever and smiles so brightly that he might as well be Jason’s own personal sun. Or maybe that’s just him being sentimental again.

They part ways after Jason parks his car. And classes drag all day for Jason. He’s still worried about Tim. He almost asked the younger boy if he’d wanted to play hooky today, but he hadn’t wanted it to seem like a gesture of pity.

Classes finally end after a grueling four hours and Jason waits for Tim at his car the way he always does. He waits a half an hour, but Tim never shows. He’s worried. He calls Tim’s phone and gets no answer. He calls twice more and still gets nothing. He waits another half an hour before he decides to call Alfred, hoping that maybe for someone reason he had come to pick up Tim.

“Hello, Master Jason. Are you also in need of a ride, sir?”

“Alfred! So, then you did give Tim a ride somewhere?”

“Yes, sir. To the airport. His flight leaves in an hour.”

Jason’s stomach drops and his palms go sweaty.

“Flight? Flight to where?!”

“Well, Paris, I believe. That’s what he told Master Bruce this morning. I was instructed to take him once he finished his meeting with the school board and his counselors. I believe Master Bruce said he’d be studying abroad for some time.”

Jason hangs up the phone and jumps into his car. He speeds through the city, weaving in and out of traffic until he makes it to the outer road that takes him back to the countryside, back to Wayne Manor.

He does fifty over the speed limit the entire way there, making it home in a fraction of the time. He feels cold and angry. Numb, yet furious.

The car is barely in park before Jason is out of and barreling through the front door.

“Bruce!” He shouts, not even sure if Bruce is here or not. “Bruce!” He calls again.

Bruce finally emerges, from where Jason’s not sure, but he looks concerned.

“Jason? What’s the matter?”

“Dammit, Bruce, you know _exactly_ what! Where is he?! Where did he go?!”

A solemn look crosses Bruce’s face and he shakes his head.

“I swore to him that I wouldn’t say anything about this, Jason.”

“Fuck, Bruce, just tell me!” Jason’s nearly hysterical now. He’s pretty sure he’s not going to like Bruce’s answer, but he has to know.

And Bruce, ever the saint, does his best to break this to Jason as kindly as possible.

“He said he needed this, Jason. I couldn’t deny him of that. I think this will be good for him. To get some space from Gotham for a while. To take a breather. It was his choice and I respect it.”

“Where. Did he. Go?”

Bruce sighs, says, “He’s gone overseas. To France, Jason. He’s going to be studying in Paris for a year.”

Jason can feel the very moment his heart shatters. The very second his body breaks out in a cold sweat. The very millisecond he feels as though he can no longer breathe.

“He’s gone. Just like that he’s gone.” He doesn’t realize he’s said it aloud.

“I’m so sorry, Jason.”

He doesn’t really feel it when Bruce wraps his arms around him. Doesn’t remember when Alfred helps Bruce take him to his room. Doesn’t remember Dick coming over to talk to him later that night. Jason holes up for two days before he can manage to shake off the pure shock of it all.

He goes back to class the next week, but he avoids going to the bookstore or the coffee shop. He doesn’t study in the library anymore and starts driving one of Bruce’s cars instead of his own. The next week is Christmas break. Tim doesn’t come back to spend the holidays with them. The day after Christmas, Jason sells his guitar.

His family worries about him. He knows they do. But he has to work through things on his own. The first time he sees one of the postcards Tim sends he loses his shit. Tears apart his room before going into Tim’s room and doing the same thing. He apologizes to Alfred later, after the man has helped him clean up.

A postcard. A fucking postcard. Like it’s fucking nineteen fifty- three or something. Tim starts sending them once a month. It pisses Jason off. Mostly because he doesn’t even use a mailing address. Jason knows why, but it hurts all the same.

It gets harder to focus on school, and eventually Jason drops out. It crushes Bruce, but he’ll never say as much. Constantly just wants to be supportive of any choice Jason makes. He goes back to working at the bar full time. Starts working on cars again. He even meets a guy. They fool around for a while, but Jason ends things when the guy asks for a real relationship.

He finds a saving grace in the bouncer that Ollie hires for the club. Her name is Cassandra, and she’s a five foot two badass. She’s not the friendliest, but she’s a straight shooter and he likes that about her. They hang out and she teaches him how to fight. He starts hanging out with Roy again after apologizing for putting their friendship on the backburner.

They drink together. A lot. Bruce tells him he’s worried, but Jason assures him that he’s fine. And then Jason starts drinking even when he’s not with Roy. It takes him getting into a drunken fight at work- with a guy that reminds him of the douchelord that he and Tim ran into that one day- for him to realize something might be wrong with him. Ollie threatens to fire him, but Bruce talks him out of it.

He focuses on training with Cass again. And she kicks his ass during their very first fight in months. Not holding back in the slightest.

Tim doesn’t come home that Christmas either, and Jason starts drinking again when he gets the postcard that says Tim is staying in Paris. The day after, he wrecks his car while driving drunk. Bruce considers an intervention, but Cassandra gets to him first with a very unique idea.

She shows up at his house while he’s recovering from a hangover and some healing bruises from his accident, and drags him into the home gym. He finds a friend of Cass’ there waiting for them. Her name is Kori. And she’s a six- foot goddess with fiery red hair, purple lipstick and bright orange nails. She beats the shit out of Jason until he’s vomiting on the floors. Cassandra promises that they will repeat this every time that Jason drinks. He quits cold turkey that day.

They become close, the three of them. He even introduces Kori and Roy and helps them get together, once he finds out Roy has gotten clean, too. He’d fallen off the wagon a little harder. Got wrapped up in some serious shit. But he and Jason promise each other that they’ll help keep the other clean.

Dick comes to visit more. Jason is always happy to see him and to have someone to talk to. Although, he does feel guilty when Dick tells him that he pushed his wedding back a year. Jason knows it’s because he wants to make sure Jason’s sober for a while. He also kind of wonders if it’s because Dick’s holding out for Tim to come home.

Summer comes quickly, but it drags on, hot and sticky slow. Before he knows it, it’s his birthday. He’s turning twenty- three. Alfred bakes him his favorite cake, and Dick, Barbara and Bruce are all there to sing him happy birthday. He’s happy, but he actively tries not to think about the fact that Tim just had his birthday a month ago. Jason does wonder if he’d spent both birthdays he had overseas alone.

“You’re another year older, Jaybird!” Bruce teases with a big smile.

It snaps him out of his thoughts and he smirks at his father figure.

“Pretty soon you’re going to be needing a walker, old man!” Dick jokes with a punch to Jason’s arm.

“Stop teasing him, the both of you.” Barbara pipes up in his defense. “You’re both just jealous of the fact that Jason is the youngest one here!”

“Not exactly.” A semi- familiar voice chirps from behind them.

All five of their heads whip around to see Tim standing in the kitchen doorway. He looks the same as Jason remembers. He also looks completely different than how Jason remembers. His hair is still long, maybe longer. And he’s grown, even if not by much. He’s filled out more, not quite as slender as he used to be. Jason can see lean muscle on him where it used to be just bone, and sinew. His voice is slightly deeper, too. And his eyes… they’re still the same blue, but with less innocence and more wisdom within them now.

“Tim!” Bruce says, sounding just as surprised as everyone probably feels. “Welcome home!”

Jason’s glad that Bruce is doing all the talking, because Jason can’t seem to say a thing around the lump in his throat.

Bruce hugs Tim first, followed by Dick and then Barbara. Alfred gives him a wide smile and a nod, but he might as well have wrapped Tim up in a bear hug.

“Happy birthday, Jay.” Tim says quietly and sets a small box on the table in front of Jason.

He stares at it. Maybe scared it might not be real. Maybe still incredibly pissed so he’s being petty and doesn’t want to touch the thing. Either way, he ignores the gift, instead rising to his feet and going to hug Tim as well.

“Welcome back, Timmy.” He whispers into the younger boy’s hair.

The hug goes on much longer than it should, but Jason just can’t bear to let go. Not until Alfred clears his throat.

“Will you be staying, Master Timothy?”

Tim steps away, and Jason’s pretty sure he sees him wipe at an eye.

“Yes, Alfred. I’m home. For good.”

Alfred cuts the cake while Tim tells them about Paris, and all the different parts of Europe he’d visited. About his university and his job. About his friends and his apartment. Even about the boy that he’d been seeing. And unabashedly, at that.

It’s then that Jason excuses himself, feigning exhaustion and saying he’d be in his room. He goes to the garden instead, sitting on a bench surrounded by statues. He smokes a cigarette or two in the warm summer air as he looks at the stars.

“Do you mind if I sit?” The once familiar voice asks him. Jason slides to one side to allow Tim some room. “How are you, Jason?”

“Fine.” He says, until Tim gives him a stern gaze. “Look, Tim, it’s been a rough two years for me, alright? You missed breakdowns number one and two. Plus, the relapse. You missed me dropping out of college, missed me getting my ass kicked in the middle of the gym in front of both Bruce and Alfred. And you’ve missed about two dozen holidays. What the fuck do you expect me to say?”

Tim gives him a soft smile and places a hand on Jason’s knee.

“I didn’t really expect you to say anything, but thank you for sharing that with me.”

Jason eyes Tim’s hand before scooting away some, looking at him perplexedly.

“You seem different.” Jason states bluntly.

“Two years does a lot to people.”

“No shit. You don’t have to tell me, college boy.”

Tim winces at that. Knowing Jason well enough to know an insult when he hears it.

“Listen, Jay, you don’t understand.”

“No, you know what? Fuck you, Tim. I understand just fine. Or I would’ve, if you’d bothered to tell me. But you didn’t. You just fucking bailed. You fucking ran, without a word. Like a coward! Hey, it’s fine, though. I get it. We weren’t good enough for you. You don’t need to tell me anything else.” Jason growls and rises to his feet.

“It wasn’t like that, Jason! Not at all!” Tim shouts, rising to his feet as well. “You didn’t know the half of it! I was humiliated all over again the day we ran into those two boys on the street. I couldn’t face who I was back then! And Gotham was nothing for me at the time than a place where I was constantly in pain! It was like I was stuck in a loop of horrific memories that I couldn’t escape!”

“Oh, and now it’s different, huh? Two years and a boyfriend and suddenly you’re a completely different person.” Jason mocks, full well knowing he’s being an asshole.

“Yes! It _is_ different now! I learned a lot while I was away. Most importantly that I couldn’t change who I was! That I needed to accept myself to be happy or the pain would follow me everywhere!”

“So, why couldn’t you fucking tell me that?! Why couldn’t you say something before you disappeared?! Why couldn’t you let me be there for you instead of running off to fucking France!” He shouts in Tim’s face, taking a step closer to the smaller boy.

Tim doesn’t back down, though. In fact, he takes a step closer to Jason, standing toe to toe with no sign of fear or intimidation.

“Because I didn’t want to chase you away! I didn’t want you to see how weak I was and push me aside! You were the most important person in my life at that time and I didn’t want to lose you!”

They both go quiet, chests heaving as they catch their breath and let their conversation soak in. Jason isn’t sure if he’s more or less mad now. He’s happy Tim’s back, he knows that much. But he’ll be damned if he tells Tim that. So, he does what he does best, and that’s arguing.

“And now I’m nothing to you? Is that it? You’re gone for two years and build a whole new life for yourself with new friends and a boyfriend and now I’m not shit?!”

Tim sighs, keeps his voice calm and even.

“Jason… you know I didn’t mean it that way. I just… needed to do some growing up on my own. I didn’t want to become someone you’d hate. So, I took some time to work on myself. I needed a breather.”

Jason scoffs, mumbles something under his breath about now hating that phrase. Tim giggles at him, and Jason wants to be mad but he honestly missed the sound of it so much.

“I’m so sorry, Jay. I’m sorry I couldn’t be honest with you and that I ran away. But this was good for me. I like who I am now. I’m finally happy with who I am.” He’s quiet for a few seconds like he’s waiting for Jason to respond. When Jason doesn’t, he carries on. “I hope you don’t hate me. Because I really missed you. Every single second I was gone. I thought about you every day, Jason.”

Putting some distance between them, Jason takes a few steps away, keeping his back to Tim.

“Why didn’t you ever try to contact me?” The hurt is clear in his voice.

“Because,” Tim explains, “I know you. And I knew that if I needed help, you’d try to come rescue me. And I needed to learn how to rescue myself.

“Nobody knew who I was while I was there, Jason. I was just me. Somebody’s friend. Somebody’s lover.” Jason’s fists clench at that and he bites down on his tongue. “I was somebody’s roommate, and somebody’s classmate. I wasn’t Tim Drake, the lonely heir to Drake Industries. Or Tim Drake, the queer. Or Tim Drake the anything. I was just Tim. It was nice. And now I know exactly who I am.”

“I always liked who you were, Tim. I always will. I guess maybe that wasn't enough. But to me, you’ve always just been Tim. No matter who you are, or who you want to be. I know you. I see who you are.”

He can hear Tim’s quiet gasp at the words, and turns to see him shaking, ever so slightly. He’s astonished when Tim rushes forward and hugs Jason tightly.

“I really did miss you,” Tim whispers. “So much. Will you tell me more about what you’ve gone through these past couple of years?”

They spend all night talking in the garden, and well past sunrise talking as well. Tim cries for him. Holds his hand when his voice gets shaky, and doesn’t even mind when Jason lights cigarette after cigarette to avoid going to the wine cellar and downing a bottle. Bruce doesn’t keep any other alcohol in the house anymore.

Tim is the exactly the same as he was. He’s just experienced the world now. No longer the sheltered boy from two years ago. He’s still beautiful and Jason still loves him more than he’s ever loved anyone or anything.

Tim punches his arm when Jason tells him he sold his guitar, and punches him twice after finding out about his drinking and his relapse. Then he slaps Jason in the face when Jason tells him about the accident and that he dropped out of school. Jason just laughs. He can’t remember the last time he was this happy.

They finally go inside sometime in the early morning, and both of them sleep with their doors open so that they can see into each other’s rooms from their own.

Everyone falls back into their old routines, and it’s almost like Tim never left. But the pain he left in his absence still sits in Jason’s chest. Even with him being home now. It’ll fade with time, he knows this, but it still aches.

They talk like they used to, and hang out like they used to. Jason introduces Tim to his friends, and he hits it off with Cass right away. He’s secretly grateful that he never has to meet any of the friends that Tim made in France. He doesn’t want to be intertwined with that part of Tim’s life. And if he ever stumbles across the guy that Tim had been dating, lord help that poor son of a bitch.

School starts up again in a few weeks, and both boys will be returning to Gotham University. Tim explains how he wrapped up his two- year program a semester early but still has at least two semesters to go before graduating.

It takes a few weeks of them hanging out before Jason finally works up the nerve, and to prepare himself, to ask him about the boy he’d been dating. He does it in the privacy of his room while he and Tim are playing cards on his bed.

“I wondered when you’d ask me about that. Ironic, that you and I both seemed to embrace that side of ourselves while on opposite sides of the world. Dick told me you came out to Bruce. That’s wonderful.” Jason shrugs and decidedly does not look at Tim as he shuffles the deck. “He was no one special. Just a guy I met at the bakery I worked at. We were together for a while but we broke up when I told him I was coming home. I’m sorry, by the way, that it took me two months to get back here. It took me forever to find a new roommate for our apartment or I would’ve been home at the end of the semester.”

Jason has to grind his teeth together through the entire conversation.

“I’m proud of you, Jason. You’ve been through so much in the past two years and you still seem happy; as if you’ve figured things out. As if you know what you want.”

The older boy blushes at that and runs a hand through his hair self- consciously.

“Thanks. Well, I’m really proud of you, too, Tim. Coming to terms with who you are. You’ve grown so much as a person. I’m so happy that you seemed to accomplish everything you set out to.”

Tim blushes, too, and smiles at Jason whole- heartedly.

“You know, the guy I dated… he actually kind of looked like you. Tall, dark hair, blue eyes, muscular.”

Tim looks just as surprised as Jason feels by the comment.

“I mean, I just… well, I guess I’d be lying if I said that wasn’t done at least somewhat intentionally.” Tim’s cheeks are much pinker now.

“What… what does that mean?” Jason stutters. His heart is pounding in his chest, in his ears, and all through his veins. There’s no way that Tim is possibly saying what Jason _thinks_ he’s saying.

“I really liked you. A lot. Before I left. As in a crush. I just didn’t think you liked me back.”

Jason is surprised to say the least at this revelation. He can’t seem to find the words he wants to say. The questions he wants to ask. He wants to be an adult about this. To have a reasonable conversation about Tim’s former feelings. About the time he was away. About what he wants for the future. To not dredge up those dark times in Tim’s past. To talk about this objectively as if it’s not a concern of his anymore. But he shakes the webs out of his head. Sending all his bright ideas flying as he does and does the exact opposite.

“Why didn’t you ever say anything to me?!” He all but shouts. It sounds somewhat accusatory, and he doesn’t mean for it to, but he just found out that he might’ve lost the only chance he ever had with Tim. “Why weren’t you just honest with me?!”

“Why didn’t you ever make a move?!” Tim counters. “I thought when you kissed me that night in my bed that that meant you were interested in me, as well!”

“You knew about that? And never said anything?! Hang on, no! You were fucking  _fifteen_ at the time, Tim! I was already twenty! It was _illegal_!”

“Well, I’m not fifteen anymore, Jay! I’ve been home for almost a month and you still haven’t even put a finger on me! I’m eighteen now, and I’ve waited long enough for this! I’ve been in love with you since the moment I stepped foot in this house three years ago. And I was always so afraid you’d know as soon as look at me how I really felt about you. I still love you, Jason, but I won’t wait for you anymore!” Tim shouts as he throws his cards to the ground and then climbs off the bed.

Jason follows his example, standing on the opposite side of the bed as Tim. He’s never been more grateful that Bruce isn’t home. He’d hate for him to hear all this. He can only hope Alfred isn’t anywhere near this end of the house at the moment.

His fingers twitch, and he has to physically bite his tongue to not say something that will get the both of them into a hole that they can’t easily dig themselves out of. There’s nothing Jason can say that can change their situation. There’s nothing he can do or act upon that changes the fact that Bruce is their adoptive father. That they live in the same house, just across the hall from each other. That they are brothers, to the media, to Bruce, and even legally. For all intents and purposes, they really are family.

“Fine. I understand. I knew it was a mistake to say anything. If this is what you want, then this is how things will stay. We won't be anything other than family.” Tim says, his voice barren and emotionless.

Tim breezes past Jason and walks to the door. Jason hesitates, but only for a moment. He’s being an idiot. He knows this. He also knows that letting Tim walk out of his life again would be the dumbest thing he could possibly do. Because he’ll never want anyone the way he wants Tim.

He rushes up behind Tim, pressing his chest to Tim’s back as he places a hand on the door, gently pushing it closed. He reaches around Tim to twist the lock, and presses his lips to the back of Tim’s head.

“Please,” he whispers into the dark tresses. “Please don’t go. Not again. Don't leave.”

Tim’s hand drops from the door handle and he gasps, so quietly that Jason can only hear it because he’s pressed up against the smaller boy. He places a large and gentle hand on Tim’s hip, pulling him closer, and he feels when Tim starts to tremble.

“Stay. Stay with me, Tim. I want you.” Jason whispers again, lowers his head and places a light kiss at the back of Tim’s neck. “Please don’t leave me again.”

Tim places his hand over Jason's, removes it from his hip. He turns around to face Jason, and there’s a moment of pure terror when Jason thinks he’s missed his chance after all. That Tim is going to reject him. But then Tim lifts his arms and wraps them around Jason’s neck, meeting his eyes before he stretches up on tiptoes to kiss Jason, briefly and innocently.

“I love you, Jason,” Tim whispers against his mouth. “I love you, so please.”

A wave of hot anticipation and cold realization simultaneously wash through Jason’s body. If Tim is asking what Jason thinks he’s asking… He won’t screw this up. He won’t. Tim is too important. And Jason needs to be one hundred percent certain.

“Please what, baby?” His voice still a whisper, not wanting to break the spell that the silence has woven.

“I want you. I've wanted you for so long, Jay. I want you to make love to me. Now.” The blush that covers Tim’s cheeks is beautiful.

The shock of Tim’s words sends a wave of arousal crashing through Jason. His dick twitches hard and now all he can think about is being inside Tim.

“Yeah. Okay. Okay. Just… let me get a condom and-,”

“No!” Tim whines, wrapping his arms tighter around Jason’s neck. “No. I don’t want us to use protection. I just want to feel you. Just you. After all this time.”

“Okay,” Jason smiles, leaning in to kiss Tim again. “Let me just grab some lube from my bathroom. Why don’t you, uh… get comfortable.” And suddenly Jason’s nervous. Because this is Tim. Because he doesn’t want to ask too much of Tim. Doesn’t want to seem pushy or demanding. Doesn’t want to scare Tim away.

“Just get comfortable?” Tim asks with a smirk, and it’s all the reassurance Jason needs. Because Tim is so wonderful that he’s guiding Jason, telling him that the things he wants are okay, that he’s totally on board with them.

“Take you clothes off. I’ll be right back.” Jason rasps and kisses Tim again before heading to the bathroom.

When he emerges, Tim is in fact naked, lying on Jason’s bed, and suddenly Jason’s head is spinning. Tim is beautiful. He’s everything Jason wants. But he’s also still so young. Small and pale and fragile looking.

“I know what you’re thinking, Jay. I can see the worry in your eyes. But I’ll be fine. I _am_ fine. You don’t need to worry about me. I’m a big boy and I know what I’m doing. I said I want you and I meant it.”

Jason swallows a handful of times, but he nods. He strips himself down as Tim watches before heading back to the bed, draping himself over Tim’s slender form. His bed is silent, but something tells Jason its happy for him.

When they kiss it’s as if Jason’s world has hit a reset button. Everything feels right. He feels happy and light, the way he did so long ago when he had Tim. Their pasts don’t matter, because they’re building something new together, now.

“Are you okay, Tim?” Jason asks when he pulls away from the kiss.

“Would you… can you…”

The fact that Tim can’t seem to form his question is worrying to Jason.

“Can I what, Tim? Tell me.” He pleads as he stares into Tim’s eyes and brushes hair back from his forehead, pressing quick kiss to his lips.

“Would you… call me baby again?”

Jason smiles, drops a kiss to Tim’s forehead.

“Oh. You liked that, did ya?” Jason chuckles at Tim’s eager nod.

He kisses his way down Tim’s chest, stopping to give some attention to both of Tim’s nipples, lapping at each one before giving them a gentle bite.

“Jay!” Tim moans, arching his back like the most beautiful thing that Jason has ever seen.

He continues to kiss down Tim’s sleight torso, stopping just shy of his cock. And when Tim moans again, Jason smiles at the reaction.

“Tim, baby,” he coos, “I need to know… what all you did with… your boyfriend?”

His hand tightens the slightest bit on Tim’s thigh, trying not to hurt the small boy but furious that he even has to utter the sentence.

“We never had intercourse. But we did a lot of other things. I told him I could never give that to anybody else but you, though. He was very sweet about it. We did… have a lot of oral sex. Ow, hey!”

Jason gives him a playful swat to the leg. Clearly telling Tim it was time to shut up. He leans over Tim, making sure the younger boy can look nowhere but at him now, and speaks against his lips.

“Don’t ever mention him again, okay? It’s you and me, now. And we don’t have to worry about anybody else anymore. You’re mine, baby, and I’ll take care of you.”

“Yes, Jason,” Tim says breathlessly.

And at that, Jason swallows Tim down in one go, not stopping until he feels the tip of Tim’s dick at the back of his throat.

“Jay! Yes!” He screams, trying his hardest not to arch up into Jason’s throat.

Jason smirks and hums around Tim. It earns him a needy whine and he decides this is as good an opportunity as any to start prepping Tim, so slicks up a finger and slides it into Tim. The second and third finger take a bit more work, but Jason just keeps sucking Tim, rubbing a hand soothingly over Tim’s hip and thigh.

Jason looks up, and Tim is so fucking pretty; stunning in a way that Jason has never seen him before. He’s flushed and glistening. Red, swollen lips trapped between Tim’s teeth. Sweet pink tongue poking out when Tim releases his lip to wet it.

He pulls off of Tim’s cock to place another kiss on his hip, keeping his fingers firmly inside of Tim’s body.

“Tim,” he calls quietly, “Tim, look at me, baby.” And Tim does, blue, crystalline eyes fluttering open to find Jason’s. “I love you, Tim. I love you so much.”

Tim bites his lip again and Jason stretches up, leaning over to kiss Tim again, hard and commanding.

“Let me hear you, love.”

“I love you, too! I love you, Jason!”

“Are you ready, babe?”

“Yes! Yes, Jay!”

Jason removes his fingers and slicks up his cock. He smooths his hand over Tim’s stomach, no longer little kid soft the way it was before, and now firm and muscled. He slides up his chest, pinches Tim’s nipple, then up to his neck, cupping lightly, and kisses Tim. He pours every ounce of his heart into, trying to relay how long he’s been this desperate for Tim. He kisses him deep, biting at his lip and sweeping with his tongue as Tim moans helplessly into his mouth. They’re both breathless when Jason pulls back to place a kiss over Tim’s pulse.

“Breathe for me, baby.” Jason instructs as he begins the slide into Tim’s body.

It’s a slow process; Tim is tighter than anything Jason’s ever felt before. He reminds himself to take his time, not wanting to hurt Tim during his first time.

“Jason!” Tim shouts, reaching up to grasp at Jason’s biceps, digging fingers into the skin until nails bite and scrape.

Jason kisses him again, alternating between long, passionate all- encompassing, and short, sweet things with tongues and lips meeting for the briefest of instances. He tries to focus on that and not the fact that his cock is currently throbbing inside of Tim’s sweet and supplicant body, held in tight heat.

“Tim… oh, god,” he moans when Tim starts kissing and sucking at his neck. “Tim, can I move now? Please? Please, baby.” He begs with a kiss to Tim’s temple.

He feels Tim nod, face still pressed into Jason’s neck. He wraps his arms tightly around the younger, holding on as he rolls onto his back and pulls Tim on top of him. Tim yelps and Jason smiles appreciatively at the new position. It’s not necessarily a surprise when Tim leans down to claim Jason’s mouth, but Jason is glad at Tim’s assertiveness and lack of hesitation.

It is a surprise when Tim starts to grind against him, their bare cocks wet and gliding together smoothly, and oh so perfectly.

“Tim, I can’t…” he stutters into Tim’s needy little mouth. “If we keep doing this I’m gonna come. And I don’t want to. Not yet.”

They separate and Tim scoots down Jason’s body until he can grind his ass down onto Jason’s leaking cock. It takes another few seconds until they can work Jason back inside, and then Tim sets a slow tease of a rhythm.

“Fucking Christ! Tim!”

Suddenly, it hits Jason that Tim really never has done this before. That every reaction, every movement, every sound is raw. It’s pure instinct for Tim. And Jason feels like he’s falling in love all over again.

The grinding continues for a few moments longer, until Jason really is worried that he may spill. He grip on Tim’s hips steadies him, helps him up and down until Tim is fucking himself slowly.

Jason lays there for a moment, appreciating the view, before sitting up to wrap his arms around Tim, fucking up into him as he places kisses on his neck and jawline; slow, syrupy and messy.

After a brief few minutes, Tim’s legs start to shake from the exertion, and Jason reverses them again so that he’s laying atop Tim once again. The smaller boy is gorgeous, spread out and writhing beneath him, whimpering helplessly as Jason continues the slow glide.

“Jason! It… it feels so good. Never thought it would feel like this. You… you’re amazing. I love you!”

Jason hikes Tim’s legs up just enough that he’s able to bend over him and kiss him again. Keeps Tim spread so that he can fuck into him quickly.

“Oh my god! Oh, Jason. Oh, fuck, please! Please!”

Tim is so beautiful, it’s unreal.

“What’s the matter, love? Whatever you need, you can tell me, sweetheart. I want to give you everything. Want to hold you forever. Wanna kiss you every goddamn second of the day. Wanna be able to touch you, run my hands, my tongue, my cock over you any time I feel like. Wanna get you all messy, covered in my sweat, my cum, so everyone knows you’re mine. Leave my marks all over you; fucking _inside_ you! Wanna fuck you until you can’t breathe. Until you can’t talk. Until the only thing you know how to do is cry my name.

“Will you do that for me, baby? Will you say my name?”

“Jason!” Tim shouts, wrapping a hand around wet and angry looking dick.

“Fuck yeah. Again, baby. You’re so fucking beautiful. I can’t… fuck. Wanna be inside you forever. Say you’re mine.”

“Yours! I’m yours, Jay!”

Jason hums approvingly.

“That’s right, baby. I love you, Tim.” Jason stammers as his hips pound into Tim’s willing body.

He gets a hand around Tim’s, jerking Tim off fast and hard. Tim releases himself, letting Jason take over as he fists the sheets and cries out in pure bliss. His hips twitch off the bed, body squirming both toward and away from Jason’s touch.

Jason surges up to kiss him again and Tim is gone, all of the sensations becoming just too much. His body seizes up and he thrashes as Jason works him through his orgasm. He spills over Jason’s hand, onto both of their stomachs. Jason keeps jerking him until Tim pulls away from the kiss and bites at Jason’s bottom lip.

“Oh god! Please, Jay! Uhnn! _Please_!”

But Jason doesn’t let up, not until Tim feels him spill his own release inside of him.

“Fuck! Oh, fuck. Tim! Jesus, oh god, Tim! You’re so fucking good, baby!”

And then Jason is moving his hand again, sliding it up and down Tim’s shaft relentlessly until Tim lets loose a silent scream, coming again, dick twitching pathetically as it pulses out what little Tim’s got left.

Jason collapses on top of him, lavishing kisses on his neck as Tim trembles and lies there helplessly, more disoriented than he’s ever felt in his life. And Jason can’t seem to catch his breath, but he also can’t get enough of Tim, tasting his skin and his sweat and his desire, seeping through his pores.

He kisses Tim’s mouth, even though the boy’s brain isn’t quite back online yet, and it ends up being more of a messy meshing of lips and tongue than actual kisses. Quick, fleeting things as both still try to catch their breath.

Rolling to the side, Jason situates himself next to Tim, allowing the younger boy to press against his side and throw a leg over Jason’s. The older male rubs a thumb over Tim’s cheekbone, nuzzles their noses together, and then goes back to kissing Tim’s sweet and abused lips.

“I’m so sorry it took me so long, Jay. I just-,”

“Shh,” Jason urges, after already silencing Tim with another kiss. “It had to be now, Tim. Neither of us were ready for this before. But I hope you know that I really do love you. And I never want to let you go. Not ever.”

They kiss again, letting themselves get lost in it for a moment. Until Jason’s brain takes him elsewhere, and he’s forced to pop their bubble of happiness.

“You know we can’t ever tell Bruce about this, right? Or Dick. I don’t… think they’d understand.”

Tim nods and kisses Jason.

“I know. But it’s okay. So long as I have you.”

Jason leans in to steal Tim’s mouth again, rubbing at his back. He slides a hand down until his fingers slide over the swell of Tim’s ass, and finds Tim’s hole; teasing at it until he slips inside.

Tim moans beautifully inside Jason’s mouth and thrusts his hips up against Jason’s side.

“You really think you can go again?” Jason asks.

“Maybe later,” Tim says with a smile as he settles himself down for sleep, still lying half on top of Jason. "I love you, Jay," he whispers one final time.

Jason hums and kisses Tim's forehead, wrapping an arm tighter around Tim's back.

"I love you, too, Tim. Forever, baby."

Downstairs, there’s a very different conversation happening as Bruce walks through the front door.

“Master Bruce, I’m glad you’re home. I have something I need to discuss with you.”

Bruce sets down his briefcase and runs a hand through already disheveled hair, loosening his tie with his other hand.

“Not now, Alfred. I’m rather tired and I’d like to take a shower now.”

“Bruce.” Alfred says, tone going firm and fixing Bruce to his spot with a glare. “This is important.”

“Alright then. What seems to be the problem, Alfred?”

“It’s Masters Timothy and Jason.”

Bruce’s face blanches and his body fills with dread.

“Are they alright? Has something happened? Did one of them leave? Is there anything wrong?”

Alfred coughs pointedly, not quite meeting Bruce’s eyes as he continues.

“Not quite, sir. It appears our young masters are… involved. With each other.”

Bruce is relieved, of course, but he’s also surprised. He knew Jason felt strongly for the boy but he never assumed, not in a million years that this was the reason behind his wounded feelings when Tim left. He wonders if Dick knew anything about this.

“Oh. Oh, I see. And you know this for certain?”

Alfred nods, explaining that he’d passed by Jason’s door earlier when the two boys had been discussing this, but made himself scarce so not to intrude on their privacy.

“Well, I… Hmm. I suppose we’ll just have to wait for them to come forward with this. Until then, we will act as though we know nothing and will respect their privacy.”

Alfred nods and walks away, clearly accepting the reasonable response. Bruce looks down at the hall rug as he contemplates the matter. Jason and Tim. Two of his sons. Who clearly care very deeply for each other. He has no doubt they will keep each other safe. The more he thinks about it, the more sense it makes. They are comfortable with each other. They’re at peace when they’re with each other. So, how can he fault his wonderful children for falling in love with one another when he knows how incredible they both are? The “problem” isn’t really a problem at all.

Bruce strips off his tie and removes his jacket. He can’t help it when a contented smile breaks out on his face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope it didn't disappoint! See you guys soon!

**Author's Note:**

> So, I have the good fortune of having a very understanding family. When I came out to them as bisexual, (well, first of all, they weren't at all surprised), but they were very supportive of me and my sisters even offered to be my wing women. But I know that not everyone has such a great experience. I have several friends who had terrible coming out stories. And if any of you have had an experience where you coming out was a bad experience, then I'm sorry it happened that way. And I hope you all have been able to move past that now and have found happiness. 
> 
>  
> 
> I really hope you guys like this and will stick with it and see how it ends! We'll find out together! Thank you all for giving it a chance!


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